US Thanksgiving was this Thursday. Experts say in their Thanksgiving meal alone, the average American ate over 3,000 calories and 90 grams of fat…the equivalent of 16 slices of greasy pizza….Perhaps we should change the name of Black Friday to Fat Friday.
Oh yeah, seems after a few more incidents this year, folks getting trampled Black Friday shopping has now officially become an annual tradition… God Bless America…
Of course holiday shopping is in full swing, and this year you can buy Jersey Shore Christmas ornaments. Yep, Hang Snooki from your tree for only $5.99…That is, if you haven’t already hung yourself after reading the last 2 sentences…Seriously!, Jersey Shore ornaments, kill me now.
Entertainment News, Sylvester Stallone and 2 former boxing champs are producing a musical version of "Rocky. It will premiere in of all places Germany next November…And here we thought the Germans only loved David Hasselhoff.
The National Enquirer claims Paula Abdul hired a rabbi, a priest, a minister, and a witch doctor to cleanse her home of evil spirits. Story sounds ridiculous, but, also like a great set up for a joke: So listen a rabbi, minister, priest & witch doctor walk into Paula Abdul's house…the rest practically writes itself!
Pakistan officials have come out with a list of over 11 hundred English words they feel should be banned from text messaging. Not sure exactly how you ban words from texts; But, highlights from their list include, “breast”, “flatulence”, “bullcrap”, and my personal favourite “monkey crotch”...cause you know it comes up in conversation so often... I say text “monkey crotch” to someone tonight, just for kicks.
In Sports, with the Green Bay Packers sitting 11-0 in their football season, a new survey out says 89% of people view Quarterback Aaron Rodgers favourably. Conducted in the Packers home state of Wisconsin, only a few things scored higher: Abraham Lincoln, Jesus…and I’m guessing Cheese.
And finally, experts are saying forget all about the idea of 6 degrees of separation. Nope, sorry Kevin Bacon, but because of facebook we are now just 4.7 people away from anyone else in the world. Kinda cool, we are just 4.7 people away from someone awesome! On the flipside we’re now that much closer to total douchebags… (refer to story 3 if having a hard time figuring out what a total douchebag is)
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Missed last week, here is your highlight from Nov 14th-20th:
Black Sabbath guitarist Geezer Butler came out saying Ozzy Osbourne used to have cocaine for breakfast. Quote -“We used to have cereal boxes full of cocaine brought to us. It was like living in the film Scarface."- Interesting….say hello to my little Cheerio bowl!
...yeah that was the highlight :-P
P.S.S. --Cool movie news to finish off with:
The story continues Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Martin Scorsese may team up for another mafia movie (including Al Pacino too). It would be called "The Irishman", and based on a real life hit man. How cool is this!
By the way, one of my Gilmore theories --it’s not a real mob movie unless Joe Pesci gets whacked--
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
These Are The Things I Think About -- Nov7th-13th
Dude looks like a kids doll. Among other celebrities, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith is being turned into a Cabbage Patch Kids doll. All for charity auction, the cabbage patch dolls are being sold on eBay. Very realistic, I hear due to Steven’s recent bathroom fall his doll will have removable teeth…the accessory scarf full of drugs, sold separately….
According to a survey about TV commercial characters, we remember the Jolly Green Giant the best. In more Jolly Green Giant news I hear his lawsuit with Santa over who owns the phrase "hohoho" continues… Oh, didn’t like that one?! ...I hear the Jolly Green Giant’s lawsuit with a 70’s Pimp over who owns the phrase "hohoho" continues… Good luck to the Jolly Green Giant
Elsewhere, VH1’s "Metal Show" aired a new interview with Axl Rose Friday. Of course, this assuming Axl actually showed up for the taping of the interview. Those who didn’t catch it the first time, be warned, to see all of Fat Axl in the interview you will need to watch on a wide screen TV.
And finally, Irish airline Ryan Air has announced they plan to air porno on their flights. A spokesperson says the porn will be pay per view and available to travelers on hand held devices…
…Porno and hand held; Not the first time those two have been used in the same sentence…
…You know some travelers are gonna have their hands full…
...For most utilizing the service it won't be their first time involved with one handed porn watching...
…Ryan Air calls it their “Mile High Club for Singles” service…
Come on, with a story like this, It would have been wrong NOT to throw in a bad joke or two.
-Gilmore
--Oh, my P.S. this week is something personal...
Useless Gilmore fact: Farts are Funny!..It’s just a fact of life I’ve long believed..(look it up, I even mention them in my work bio) Well I now have some legitimate back up. In a recent Rolling Stone article we were given this quote…
…"it's one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier."…
...And who is this quote from? -George Clooney --Ha!, I knew we had more in common then just our hunky good looks!--
According to a survey about TV commercial characters, we remember the Jolly Green Giant the best. In more Jolly Green Giant news I hear his lawsuit with Santa over who owns the phrase "hohoho" continues… Oh, didn’t like that one?! ...I hear the Jolly Green Giant’s lawsuit with a 70’s Pimp over who owns the phrase "hohoho" continues… Good luck to the Jolly Green Giant
Elsewhere, VH1’s "Metal Show" aired a new interview with Axl Rose Friday. Of course, this assuming Axl actually showed up for the taping of the interview. Those who didn’t catch it the first time, be warned, to see all of Fat Axl in the interview you will need to watch on a wide screen TV.
And finally, Irish airline Ryan Air has announced they plan to air porno on their flights. A spokesperson says the porn will be pay per view and available to travelers on hand held devices…
…Porno and hand held; Not the first time those two have been used in the same sentence…
…You know some travelers are gonna have their hands full…
...For most utilizing the service it won't be their first time involved with one handed porn watching...
…Ryan Air calls it their “Mile High Club for Singles” service…
Come on, with a story like this, It would have been wrong NOT to throw in a bad joke or two.
-Gilmore
--Oh, my P.S. this week is something personal...
Useless Gilmore fact: Farts are Funny!..It’s just a fact of life I’ve long believed..(look it up, I even mention them in my work bio) Well I now have some legitimate back up. In a recent Rolling Stone article we were given this quote…
…"it's one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier."…
...And who is this quote from? -George Clooney --Ha!, I knew we had more in common then just our hunky good looks!--
Sunday, November 6, 2011
These Are The Things I Think About -- Nov1st-6th
Regis Philbin leaves "Live with Regis & Kelly" this month. His first fill in has been announced, Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry’s first appearance will be November 21st. I hear Jerry’s plan for the appearance is to do a "Live" show about nothing.
Lots happened this Thursday. It was official “Men Make Dinner Day”. Seriously, look it up. It was also on Thurdsay's date in 1718 the sandwich was invented....Coincidence?!….not sayin’ I’m just sayin’ ladies.
Hey, if you’re going to San Francisco anytime soon, don’t forget your pants. Apparently nude public dining has just been banned there due to concerns about hygiene. Of course we don’t dine in the nude in Canada, it due to concerns about frostbite.
And Dennis Miller turned 58 this week. Dennis Miller, one of the best comedians of all time. Of Course, That’s Just My Opinion, I Could Be Wrong…..But listen babe, doubt it.
Here's a little sample from his epic 1990 "Black & White" comedy special. Enjoy!
- Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Not that you need to be convinced, but 2 more items popped up this week confirming Nickelback sucks:
Exhibit A: According to a survey on dating website tastebuds.fm they are the most hated group in music.
Exhibit B: Fans of the Detroit Lions have started a petition. This to keep Nickelback from performing the halftime show at their annual Thanksgiving game against the Greenbay Packers.
Once again the people have spoken....
Lots happened this Thursday. It was official “Men Make Dinner Day”. Seriously, look it up. It was also on Thurdsay's date in 1718 the sandwich was invented....Coincidence?!….not sayin’ I’m just sayin’ ladies.
Hey, if you’re going to San Francisco anytime soon, don’t forget your pants. Apparently nude public dining has just been banned there due to concerns about hygiene. Of course we don’t dine in the nude in Canada, it due to concerns about frostbite.
And Dennis Miller turned 58 this week. Dennis Miller, one of the best comedians of all time. Of Course, That’s Just My Opinion, I Could Be Wrong…..But listen babe, doubt it.
Here's a little sample from his epic 1990 "Black & White" comedy special. Enjoy!
- Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Not that you need to be convinced, but 2 more items popped up this week confirming Nickelback sucks:
Exhibit A: According to a survey on dating website tastebuds.fm they are the most hated group in music.
Exhibit B: Fans of the Detroit Lions have started a petition. This to keep Nickelback from performing the halftime show at their annual Thanksgiving game against the Greenbay Packers.
Once again the people have spoken....
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