Early Weekend TV reminders. Miley Cyrus will be host and musical guest on Saturday Night Live tonight. Let’s hope she doesn’t do something stupid..or at least stupider then normal for her as of late. Seriously, am I the only one who wishes Miley Cyrus would just F.O.A.D.*
The Simpsons Halloween special also goes this weekend! Tune it in tomorrow night**. By the way prepare yourself, a major character will die on The Simpsons this season. Who do you think it will be?*
Tom Clancy, author of “The Hunt for Red October,” '‘Patriot Games” and “Clear and Present Danger,” died this week. He was 66. No cause was given. Hmm, sounds a little suspicious, and suspenseful; Tom Clancy novel suspicious, and suspenseful to me.
Breaking Bad ended last week, if you still haven’t seen the final episode, Spoiler alert!!: There were gun fights, and meth and characters talked…OK, I won’t ruin it for you, other then to say Skyler doesn’t die, but the show's creator did have that ending in mind!…true story.
You remember Arnold Schwarzenegers has a love child. Well, he just turned 16, and guess what Arnold gave him for his birthday day? A home gym…I hear Arnold thought he looked like a Girly man and wanted to Pump him Up! (of course you said that in your best Hans & Franz impersonation right?!, if not go back and re-read it you puny, walking, flab-alanche)
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-if you need to know what F.O.A.D. means tweet me!…Also, I’m curious who you think might die on the Simpsons this season, tweet your pick for it too!
P.S.S-- ** The Simpson annual Treehouse of Horror, Halloween special will have an opening created by Movie director Guillermo del Toro this year. It’s pretty sweet, give it a look:
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Sept 23rd-29th
Emmy Awards went last Sunday. Some highlights: Breaking Bad was a big winner, the show finally, fittingly, landed the award for Best Drama Series. Netflix show House of Cards made a bit of history, becoming the first online show to win an Emmy. And, missed it myself, but I hear Neil Patrick Harris deserves and award for thankfully making the Emmys watchable!
Kurt Cobain’s mom has put the family home up for sale. Included in the deal will be family photos, Kurt’s old mattress –yeah, cause you really want that-- and other items. Assessed for 67 thousand dollars, the house is listed for 500 thousand dollars. Money grab much? Kurt’s Mom is also open to the idea of making it into a museum. Really?!…It’ll have that used mattress and all…but ask yourself lady, are you sure Cobain-land, has the same panache as Elvis’s Graceland?, just sayin’
A man in Colombia recently almost had his junk amputated after he overdosed on Viagra, trying to impress his new girlfriend. The man was aroused for several days, during which his ‘little Columbian’: developed an infection…he fractured it (I don’t even wanna know how)…and it got gangrene; ouch! Surgeons had to operate to keep the gangrene from spreading, fortunately, they didn’t have to chop it off… Lesson learned, if you want to impress your girlfriend, stick to buying her flowers!
Fans of late night TV one for you. NBC is planning a mini-series about Johnny Carson's life. Following NBC tradition, I hear once they cast the title role they plan to go back on their word and give it to Jay Leno.
And here’s the new Best Job Ever: NASA is hiring “Pillownauts”. You can get paid over 5 thousand dollars a month to spend your days in bed to measure the effects of microgravity on the body. The Pillownauts will be allowed to play video games, watch DVDs and read books. Painful irony, you are out busting your ass everyday, and, the laziest person you know has a better chance of landing a job at NASA then you do
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. The final Breaking Bad airs tonight. What better way to prep yourself for what’s to come then a trip through the various beatings of Aaron Paul’s ‘Jesse Pinkman’, you’re welcome:
Kurt Cobain’s mom has put the family home up for sale. Included in the deal will be family photos, Kurt’s old mattress –yeah, cause you really want that-- and other items. Assessed for 67 thousand dollars, the house is listed for 500 thousand dollars. Money grab much? Kurt’s Mom is also open to the idea of making it into a museum. Really?!…It’ll have that used mattress and all…but ask yourself lady, are you sure Cobain-land, has the same panache as Elvis’s Graceland?, just sayin’
A man in Colombia recently almost had his junk amputated after he overdosed on Viagra, trying to impress his new girlfriend. The man was aroused for several days, during which his ‘little Columbian’: developed an infection…he fractured it (I don’t even wanna know how)…and it got gangrene; ouch! Surgeons had to operate to keep the gangrene from spreading, fortunately, they didn’t have to chop it off… Lesson learned, if you want to impress your girlfriend, stick to buying her flowers!
Fans of late night TV one for you. NBC is planning a mini-series about Johnny Carson's life. Following NBC tradition, I hear once they cast the title role they plan to go back on their word and give it to Jay Leno.
And here’s the new Best Job Ever: NASA is hiring “Pillownauts”. You can get paid over 5 thousand dollars a month to spend your days in bed to measure the effects of microgravity on the body. The Pillownauts will be allowed to play video games, watch DVDs and read books. Painful irony, you are out busting your ass everyday, and, the laziest person you know has a better chance of landing a job at NASA then you do
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. The final Breaking Bad airs tonight. What better way to prep yourself for what’s to come then a trip through the various beatings of Aaron Paul’s ‘Jesse Pinkman’, you’re welcome:
Saturday, September 21, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Sept9th-22nd
TV and Movie actor Sir Patrick Stewart got married last weekend. It is his 3rd marriage; I hear instead of “I Do”, Patrick told the minister “Make It So Number 1”…My desk neighbour at work, Jimmy, --check him out HERE-- had a better one: When asking her to marry him, Patrick pulled out the ring, got down on one knee and said “engage”...that's gold!!
For 70 million dollars you can buy Wayne Newton’s old house. You get a lot for the 70 million, the property includes a car museum, horse stables, and, an airplane hangar that fits a jumbo jet!…Betting the builder who got the contract for those jobs said Danke Schoen to Wayne for the cash.
Too weird to make up. Sharon Osbourne claims she had a fling with Jay Leno. This years ago after meeting at a club in the 70's...Hmmm, a flashy story about Jay Leno, that’s real a chin scratcher.
Clint Eastwood is pulling a Shania Twain, the ole spouse swaperoony*. Clint and his wife are separating, and word is Clint has now hooked up with the ex-wife of the man his wife is hooked up with…He wasn’t very romantic though, saying ‘Are you feeling lucky, dumped”…to her right before asking her out the first time.
Harrison Ford will be getting a lifetime achievement award at the Hollywood Film Awards next month. No word on if he’s going with a date, or Solo -Zing!
The Ed Sullivan theatre will likely be ramped up with security Monday. Home of the Late Show with David Letterman. Former US president Bill Clinton will be on the show. Between Dave and Bill, those interns better have some security guards themselves!
Finally, a man in Germany’s Beer Belly lived up to it's name. He kept getting drunk, just by eating. And superdrunk too, blowing alcohol levels of .37. Turns out he had a yeast build up in his stomach. Everything he ate got fermented, getting him hammered. Talk about a cheap date!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Incase no one has yet laid claim, I’m calling “swaperooney” as an official Gilmore invented word...You're welcome, use it at will.
P.S.S.-- We are now just 93 days until Christmas. Get this, Bad Religion is coming out with an album of holiday music. Simply called 'Christmas Songs', they’ll be covering traditional holiday classics. Like this one:
For 70 million dollars you can buy Wayne Newton’s old house. You get a lot for the 70 million, the property includes a car museum, horse stables, and, an airplane hangar that fits a jumbo jet!…Betting the builder who got the contract for those jobs said Danke Schoen to Wayne for the cash.
Too weird to make up. Sharon Osbourne claims she had a fling with Jay Leno. This years ago after meeting at a club in the 70's...Hmmm, a flashy story about Jay Leno, that’s real a chin scratcher.
Clint Eastwood is pulling a Shania Twain, the ole spouse swaperoony*. Clint and his wife are separating, and word is Clint has now hooked up with the ex-wife of the man his wife is hooked up with…He wasn’t very romantic though, saying ‘Are you feeling lucky, dumped”…to her right before asking her out the first time.
Harrison Ford will be getting a lifetime achievement award at the Hollywood Film Awards next month. No word on if he’s going with a date, or Solo -Zing!
The Ed Sullivan theatre will likely be ramped up with security Monday. Home of the Late Show with David Letterman. Former US president Bill Clinton will be on the show. Between Dave and Bill, those interns better have some security guards themselves!
Finally, a man in Germany’s Beer Belly lived up to it's name. He kept getting drunk, just by eating. And superdrunk too, blowing alcohol levels of .37. Turns out he had a yeast build up in his stomach. Everything he ate got fermented, getting him hammered. Talk about a cheap date!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Incase no one has yet laid claim, I’m calling “swaperooney” as an official Gilmore invented word...You're welcome, use it at will.
P.S.S.-- We are now just 93 days until Christmas. Get this, Bad Religion is coming out with an album of holiday music. Simply called 'Christmas Songs', they’ll be covering traditional holiday classics. Like this one:
Sunday, September 8, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Aug19th-Sept8th
End of summer vacation time has been on my docket as of late. Let’s catch up! Here’s what’s been going on lately:
Betty White is going being recognized for her longevity. Guinness Book of World Records say Betty is now the title holder of “Longest TV Career for a Female Entertainer”. Betty started in radio in 1939. Wonder if Larry King hired her.
Paul Giamatti is set to star in a new Television show. Titled Hoke. He’ll play the title character, a police detective on the streets in Miami during the 80s. Will Crocket and Tubbs make an appearance?..tune in to find out!
Lots of superhero info & rumours as of late. The Man of Steel, Superman sequel; Confirmed, Ben Affleck will play Batman in the movie. Rumour was Bryan Cranston will play Lex Luthor, however this is looking like BS. And, word is Detroit has been chosen as the filming location for the movie…Sadly this choice will likely save producers money on gun shot sound effects and condemned building settings.
Happy birthday to Google. Founded in a garage in 1998, the search engine turned 15 this past Wednesday. Don’t believe me?, Google it!
If you don’t mind tweeting your phone number, you might get a celebrity phone call. Tweet Aaron Paul, who plays Jesse on “Breaking Bad” your number and he might randomly call you. Tweet me anytime too @GenuineGilmore just don’t expect a phone call*.
And next time yo go shopping, watch for Bruce Willis. Your latest Bruce Willis fact: he likes to shop at Costco. Says he cannot resist a good bargain…Costco, the only place you can get 48 Yippie Kay Yays for the price of 10 anywhere else!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Unless you want me talking to you on a phone like this:
…This was my hotel room discovery while on vacation.
Betty White is going being recognized for her longevity. Guinness Book of World Records say Betty is now the title holder of “Longest TV Career for a Female Entertainer”. Betty started in radio in 1939. Wonder if Larry King hired her.
Paul Giamatti is set to star in a new Television show. Titled Hoke. He’ll play the title character, a police detective on the streets in Miami during the 80s. Will Crocket and Tubbs make an appearance?..tune in to find out!
Lots of superhero info & rumours as of late. The Man of Steel, Superman sequel; Confirmed, Ben Affleck will play Batman in the movie. Rumour was Bryan Cranston will play Lex Luthor, however this is looking like BS. And, word is Detroit has been chosen as the filming location for the movie…Sadly this choice will likely save producers money on gun shot sound effects and condemned building settings.
Happy birthday to Google. Founded in a garage in 1998, the search engine turned 15 this past Wednesday. Don’t believe me?, Google it!
If you don’t mind tweeting your phone number, you might get a celebrity phone call. Tweet Aaron Paul, who plays Jesse on “Breaking Bad” your number and he might randomly call you. Tweet me anytime too @GenuineGilmore just don’t expect a phone call*.
And next time yo go shopping, watch for Bruce Willis. Your latest Bruce Willis fact: he likes to shop at Costco. Says he cannot resist a good bargain…Costco, the only place you can get 48 Yippie Kay Yays for the price of 10 anywhere else!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Unless you want me talking to you on a phone like this:
…This was my hotel room discovery while on vacation.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- July29th-Aug11th
Rolling Stone magazine has made headlines again. It's August issue with Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover are selling like hot cakes. Sales of the magazine are up 102 percent. Controversy sells.
The NFL regular season is just a few weeks away. And, there’s new food to eat while watching this year. Former Bears coach Mike Ditka and Vienna Beef are teaming up with a new line of Giant Polish Sausages. Totally, reminds me of the Saturday Night Live Super Fans*.
A little more for Football fans, confirmed Carrie Underwood will replaces Faith Hill on NBC’s Sunday Night Football this season. Carries debut of “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” goes the first Sunday in September. And the butchering of a Joan Jet song continues.
Here's your latest must watch American programming option. 'The Man With the 132 lb. Scrotum' will premiere on TLC August 19th. The show will chronicle the life of Wesley Warren Jr. and his 132-pound scrotum. Classy.
Jonathan Goldsmith better known as the Dos Equis pitchman, 'The Most Interesting Man In The World' that guy. He is selling his yacht. Asking 200 thousand dollars. The boat is 47-feet long featuring a master suite, a kitchen, two flat screens and a stereo system…He doesn’t always go boating, but when he does he does it in style.
More proof Jack White is awesome. Jack has donated 200 thousand dollars to help create the National Recording Preservation Foundation, to preserve radio, music and recorded sound heritage. Cool. Maybe one day some of my work will be saved in a library somewhere. Crossing my fingers it’s audio of me telling a fart joke ;-P Hey farts are funny, always have been, always will be!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-One of the early SNL sketches with the “Superfans” ..If video doesn't work, follow link!
Bill Swerski's Superfans (with Joe Mantegna)
The NFL regular season is just a few weeks away. And, there’s new food to eat while watching this year. Former Bears coach Mike Ditka and Vienna Beef are teaming up with a new line of Giant Polish Sausages. Totally, reminds me of the Saturday Night Live Super Fans*.
A little more for Football fans, confirmed Carrie Underwood will replaces Faith Hill on NBC’s Sunday Night Football this season. Carries debut of “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” goes the first Sunday in September. And the butchering of a Joan Jet song continues.
Here's your latest must watch American programming option. 'The Man With the 132 lb. Scrotum' will premiere on TLC August 19th. The show will chronicle the life of Wesley Warren Jr. and his 132-pound scrotum. Classy.
Jonathan Goldsmith better known as the Dos Equis pitchman, 'The Most Interesting Man In The World' that guy. He is selling his yacht. Asking 200 thousand dollars. The boat is 47-feet long featuring a master suite, a kitchen, two flat screens and a stereo system…He doesn’t always go boating, but when he does he does it in style.
More proof Jack White is awesome. Jack has donated 200 thousand dollars to help create the National Recording Preservation Foundation, to preserve radio, music and recorded sound heritage. Cool. Maybe one day some of my work will be saved in a library somewhere. Crossing my fingers it’s audio of me telling a fart joke ;-P Hey farts are funny, always have been, always will be!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-One of the early SNL sketches with the “Superfans” ..If video doesn't work, follow link!
Bill Swerski's Superfans (with Joe Mantegna)
Sunday, July 28, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- July15th-July28th
Some food for thought, slight pun intended, to get us rolling. A company is coming out with a new protein bar made from Crickets. --Somewhere Jiminy just felt a disturbance in the force.-- Crickets are baked, ground into flour, then used in the recipe. Bet you are just jumping at the chance to try them aren’t ya.
Andrew Dice Clay, the “Dice Man” is writing a book. Out next year, I’ll save you the wait on the explanation of his stand-up routine. Dennis Miller said it best years ago. He’s Fonzie with Tourette’s.
Oprah plans on mentoring Lindsay Lohan. And it will be filmed for a documentary, oh boy. Plan is Oprah will take Lindsay under her wing and get her life back on the right path. Let's hope. My guess though, this goes horribly wrong, Oprah realizes Lindsay really is an idiot and strangles her. Or Lindsay turns into Oprah with her drug use; She wants to share with everybody! “You get some cocaine, and you get some cocaine and you get some cocaine!”
Your latest sign, the 'Merican culture is doomed. The latest must see TV. The casts of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and, Cake Boss, will battle on an upcoming episode of Family Feud. Good god. Even Steve Harvey’s moustache can’t class this cluster train up!
And, kids meals at fast food restaurants aren’t what they used to be. A Michigan family recently found a pot pipe for smoking weed in their Burger King kids meal. Hmm, maybe that’s why they call it a fast food joint -Zing!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A cool music news extra. Record stores could be on the comeback! Sales from independent music stores are up 44% this year in the UK. More significant, they account for over half of all vinyl sales. Let’s cross our fingers this trend comes to North America. I keep telling you vinyl records are making a comeback!
P.S.S.-- And a shameless plug. I finally launched my website: TheGilmoreShow.com Head there for all things me. You can make it better, please check it out and let me know what you think, Thanks!
Andrew Dice Clay, the “Dice Man” is writing a book. Out next year, I’ll save you the wait on the explanation of his stand-up routine. Dennis Miller said it best years ago. He’s Fonzie with Tourette’s.
Oprah plans on mentoring Lindsay Lohan. And it will be filmed for a documentary, oh boy. Plan is Oprah will take Lindsay under her wing and get her life back on the right path. Let's hope. My guess though, this goes horribly wrong, Oprah realizes Lindsay really is an idiot and strangles her. Or Lindsay turns into Oprah with her drug use; She wants to share with everybody! “You get some cocaine, and you get some cocaine and you get some cocaine!”
Your latest sign, the 'Merican culture is doomed. The latest must see TV. The casts of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and, Cake Boss, will battle on an upcoming episode of Family Feud. Good god. Even Steve Harvey’s moustache can’t class this cluster train up!
And, kids meals at fast food restaurants aren’t what they used to be. A Michigan family recently found a pot pipe for smoking weed in their Burger King kids meal. Hmm, maybe that’s why they call it a fast food joint -Zing!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A cool music news extra. Record stores could be on the comeback! Sales from independent music stores are up 44% this year in the UK. More significant, they account for over half of all vinyl sales. Let’s cross our fingers this trend comes to North America. I keep telling you vinyl records are making a comeback!
P.S.S.-- And a shameless plug. I finally launched my website: TheGilmoreShow.com Head there for all things me. You can make it better, please check it out and let me know what you think, Thanks!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- July8th-July14th
Well big romance rumours this week. George Clooney & Stacy Keibler are splitsville. This is the word on the street. Ladies if you don’t want kids or marriage, but do want George, --this seems to be his criteria-- the line up starts to the left…Guys if you want to date someone whose ex boyfriend you will never live up to, line up starts to the right
Some early summer TV (read: taking a chance to fill programming while no one who spends money with us is really paying attention) debuts are arriving. Wednesday night, Camp, kicked off. It’s a new show following Campers and Counselors at a summer camp, hence the clever name. Tom Green is in it and it’s on NBC. So, it has the perfect fitting combination of potential to be pretty good, or really, really, really god awful bad. Good luck to Camp… Hope it isn’t too Campy of a show, old chum.
From potential to likely downright crap. We might have the next Waterworld. Not the fun time summer place, but, the lousy money hemmoraging movie. Disney’s “The Lone Ranger” is turd at the box office. 250 million to make the movie, 175 million to market it. Experts say it will likely lose 100-150 million dollars. Ouch!… Don’t worry soon to be fired Disney executives, I’m sure NBC will hire you.
Kate Middleton is due to give birth today. --As of typing this no baby. Looks like she missed it-- The Royal Family is doing everything they can to keep it a secret. Umm, by letting us know today was the day, didn’t it kinda defeat the purpose?, just sayin’. Anywho, only Scotland Yard will be notified, when its hospital and baby time. I’m take bets on 6 minutes before news is leaked…Sadly, I am realizing that probably IS something you can bet on. Apparently odds and bets are available for a slew of Royal Baby related items. This is like the Superbowl of pregnancy betting. Bet Britain loves this latest comparison to ‘Merica.
-Gilmore
--Oh, P.S. Far more interesting music news came down the pipe from Pearl Jam this week. Countdown clocks have been running on their website promising something big. Monday it was announced a 24 show North American tour for this fall. Then, Thursday the big news hit. Official word of their coming 10th album. It will be called Lightning Bolt; It’s out October 15th. And, the first single is ready. It’s called Mind Your Manners. Here it is: --lemme know what you think of it!--
Some early summer TV (read: taking a chance to fill programming while no one who spends money with us is really paying attention) debuts are arriving. Wednesday night, Camp, kicked off. It’s a new show following Campers and Counselors at a summer camp, hence the clever name. Tom Green is in it and it’s on NBC. So, it has the perfect fitting combination of potential to be pretty good, or really, really, really god awful bad. Good luck to Camp… Hope it isn’t too Campy of a show, old chum.
From potential to likely downright crap. We might have the next Waterworld. Not the fun time summer place, but, the lousy money hemmoraging movie. Disney’s “The Lone Ranger” is turd at the box office. 250 million to make the movie, 175 million to market it. Experts say it will likely lose 100-150 million dollars. Ouch!… Don’t worry soon to be fired Disney executives, I’m sure NBC will hire you.
Kate Middleton is due to give birth today. --As of typing this no baby. Looks like she missed it-- The Royal Family is doing everything they can to keep it a secret. Umm, by letting us know today was the day, didn’t it kinda defeat the purpose?, just sayin’. Anywho, only Scotland Yard will be notified, when its hospital and baby time. I’m take bets on 6 minutes before news is leaked…Sadly, I am realizing that probably IS something you can bet on. Apparently odds and bets are available for a slew of Royal Baby related items. This is like the Superbowl of pregnancy betting. Bet Britain loves this latest comparison to ‘Merica.
-Gilmore
--Oh, P.S. Far more interesting music news came down the pipe from Pearl Jam this week. Countdown clocks have been running on their website promising something big. Monday it was announced a 24 show North American tour for this fall. Then, Thursday the big news hit. Official word of their coming 10th album. It will be called Lightning Bolt; It’s out October 15th. And, the first single is ready. It’s called Mind Your Manners. Here it is: --lemme know what you think of it!--
Monday, July 8, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- July2nd-July7th
Something cool to get us going. Chris Hadfield is writing a book. “An Astronauts Guide to Life on Earth”. Recently returning from Commanding the International Space Station, the book is expected to be out in October. If you haven’t seen his awesome take on David Bowie’s Space Oddity yet, see it HERE on The Gilmore Blog…Click the link, Click the link now!
Along this line, Doug Engelbart, the inventor of the computer mouse has died. He was 88 years old. Click 3 times to show your condolences.
He’s been talking about it forever, and now, it looks like Tracy Morgan did get somebody pregnant. He has a daughter. His fiancé just had a baby, they named her Maven Sonae Morgan.
Music news, Ruben Studdard is joining "The Biggest Loser." Wait a second, you won the second season of American Idol, and have sold hardly any records since. Ruben Studdard you my friend already are the Biggest Loser.
Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne got married in France last Saturday. Let’s hope they stay there.
And, something to make want to smash our head against a wall. The nominees for this year’s Teen choice awards are out. Honey Boo Boo is up against the Kardashians for “best female reality star” --sidenote, how the F&^K is that even a category!, this phrase is such an oxymoron my brain hurts--...Honey Boo Boo and the Kardashians, role models. This is why kids are idiots these days
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A little something for the SNL fans of the 90s. A parody character who made me laugh for sure, gets a fresh new take. Plus, the Lumineers will never quite be the same after you watch. This may be the greatest “So wrong it is so right” mashup I’ve seen in a while:
Along this line, Doug Engelbart, the inventor of the computer mouse has died. He was 88 years old. Click 3 times to show your condolences.
He’s been talking about it forever, and now, it looks like Tracy Morgan did get somebody pregnant. He has a daughter. His fiancé just had a baby, they named her Maven Sonae Morgan.
Music news, Ruben Studdard is joining "The Biggest Loser." Wait a second, you won the second season of American Idol, and have sold hardly any records since. Ruben Studdard you my friend already are the Biggest Loser.
Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne got married in France last Saturday. Let’s hope they stay there.
And, something to make want to smash our head against a wall. The nominees for this year’s Teen choice awards are out. Honey Boo Boo is up against the Kardashians for “best female reality star” --sidenote, how the F&^K is that even a category!, this phrase is such an oxymoron my brain hurts--...Honey Boo Boo and the Kardashians, role models. This is why kids are idiots these days
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A little something for the SNL fans of the 90s. A parody character who made me laugh for sure, gets a fresh new take. Plus, the Lumineers will never quite be the same after you watch. This may be the greatest “So wrong it is so right” mashup I’ve seen in a while:
Monday, July 1, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- June17th-July1st
Happy Canada Day!
Some cool Canadiana to get us going. Terry Fox is being inducted into the Canadian Walk of Fame this year! The announcement came early this week. Other new inductees will include Olympic Soccer player Christine Sinclair and Alan Thick…Awesome news, however side note, why Terry Fox is not already in EVERY Canadian Walk, Hall, Building, Designation, etc., of honour is beyond me. Terry Fox had stones the size of our country itself, a true Canadian Hero.
Shocking news from the acting world last Wednesday night. James Gandolfini, a hell of an actor, a hell of a guy it has been said, and, best known as his character Tony Soprano on The Sopranos, died. James suffered a heart attack during a visit to Italy, he died shortly after arriving at hospital. His funeral with this past Thursday in NYC. Tributes continue to roll in, a nice highlight is the ice cream shop in New Jersey where the final scene of The Sopranos was filmed. A reserved sign is placed on the table where Tony Soprano last sat in the final episode. James won 3 Emmys for his Sopranos work.
On a happier note, there were several runours last weekend Jackie Chan was dead. Good news, it was all false. Jackie Chan is Alive & Kicking ;-)
Somehow still alive and kicking Ozzy Osbourne; he and fellow Black Sabbath members Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler have quite the distinction. Their new album ‘13’ is number One in the UK and the US. It’s their first North American number 1 album. Their last album to go number 1 in the UK was ‘Paranoid’, 43 years ago.
There was a massive explosion at a fireworks factory near Montreal, last week. I know hockey announcers from the area call a goal by The Canadiens Le But (Boo), had to wonder, would they have announced this event Le Booom?!
More for Hockey fans.
A. If you didn’t know, the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup over Boston Monday. It was an amazing final round this year, amazing playoffs this year overall, if this years Cup run didn’t get Americans interested in Hockey, nothing will.
B. The home of the Ottawa Senators, Scotia Bank Place has a new deal and been renamed the Canadian Tire Centre…Or of course Sucky Senators Arena to Leafs fans ;-) ..Actually, I think Leafs fans should probably call it “Cheap Home Game Tickets Arena”. Love it when Leafs fans out number and boo Ottawa in their own arena!
Billy Ray Cyrus and wife are getting a divorce. Billy Ray’s heart described as being “Achy-Breaky” regarding the situation…The pair site ‘irreconcilable differences’. I hear they couldn’t agree on whose fault Miley Cyrus was…Yeah thanks for giving that to the world.
Last Tuesday was International Sushi Day…I don’t know, sounds a little fishy to me.
And finally, some real food for thought, chew on this one. I’m marking this down as the worst headline I’ve read in a while, quote: “Man Fingers Employer In Lawsuit”…Wait, what? yeah they should have re-wrote that one.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Aside from it being Canada Day, awesome!, this has got to be the next coolest thing you will hear about all day. AC/DC’s thunderstruck as played on Bagpipes. Cool enough… AC/DC’s thunderstruck as played on Bagpipes which shoot fire! Cooler!! Give it a look:
Shocking news from the acting world last Wednesday night. James Gandolfini, a hell of an actor, a hell of a guy it has been said, and, best known as his character Tony Soprano on The Sopranos, died. James suffered a heart attack during a visit to Italy, he died shortly after arriving at hospital. His funeral with this past Thursday in NYC. Tributes continue to roll in, a nice highlight is the ice cream shop in New Jersey where the final scene of The Sopranos was filmed. A reserved sign is placed on the table where Tony Soprano last sat in the final episode. James won 3 Emmys for his Sopranos work.
On a happier note, there were several runours last weekend Jackie Chan was dead. Good news, it was all false. Jackie Chan is Alive & Kicking ;-)
Somehow still alive and kicking Ozzy Osbourne; he and fellow Black Sabbath members Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler have quite the distinction. Their new album ‘13’ is number One in the UK and the US. It’s their first North American number 1 album. Their last album to go number 1 in the UK was ‘Paranoid’, 43 years ago.
There was a massive explosion at a fireworks factory near Montreal, last week. I know hockey announcers from the area call a goal by The Canadiens Le But (Boo), had to wonder, would they have announced this event Le Booom?!
More for Hockey fans.
A. If you didn’t know, the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup over Boston Monday. It was an amazing final round this year, amazing playoffs this year overall, if this years Cup run didn’t get Americans interested in Hockey, nothing will.
B. The home of the Ottawa Senators, Scotia Bank Place has a new deal and been renamed the Canadian Tire Centre…Or of course Sucky Senators Arena to Leafs fans ;-) ..Actually, I think Leafs fans should probably call it “Cheap Home Game Tickets Arena”. Love it when Leafs fans out number and boo Ottawa in their own arena!
Billy Ray Cyrus and wife are getting a divorce. Billy Ray’s heart described as being “Achy-Breaky” regarding the situation…The pair site ‘irreconcilable differences’. I hear they couldn’t agree on whose fault Miley Cyrus was…Yeah thanks for giving that to the world.
Last Tuesday was International Sushi Day…I don’t know, sounds a little fishy to me.
And finally, some real food for thought, chew on this one. I’m marking this down as the worst headline I’ve read in a while, quote: “Man Fingers Employer In Lawsuit”…Wait, what? yeah they should have re-wrote that one.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Aside from it being Canada Day, awesome!, this has got to be the next coolest thing you will hear about all day. AC/DC’s thunderstruck as played on Bagpipes. Cool enough… AC/DC’s thunderstruck as played on Bagpipes which shoot fire! Cooler!! Give it a look:
Sunday, June 16, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- June10th-June16th
Father’s Day was today. From myself, a salute to all the Dads out there! And what does Dad love?, a good deal. If you were near an IKEA today you should have stopped in with him. IKEA offered free breakfast for Dads this morning. Being IKEA, you needing Dad’s skills & an Allen wrench to assemble it first, may have been a possibility.
And Florida man was recently using the bathroom at a McDonald's when he was robbed of his jewelry, cell phone and $100. I hear they left his meal alone though, so at least Officer Big Mac can rule out the Hamburglar.
Are you a “Game of Thrones” fan. It’s set an interesting record. The Season 3 finale has just become the ‘Most Pirated TV Episode of All-Time’. Gazallions of people have been downloading it. Having never seen the show myself, I do hear fightin’ & boobies are what it’s all about. So yeah this explains all the downloads. Maybe they should re-name it to "Game of Thongs"?!
Speaking of gitch. A Canadian woman and her teenage daughter have been caught trying to cross the border with 59 thousand dollars hidden in their bras. I’m thinking:
A. Them using the “we just got off shift at the strip club” defence.
B. I hear the border agent who found money in the bras described it as an uplifting experience…Boo, that was bad.
Or C. --Got this from a comment on a CBC article--..I hear the bra money ladies were described as being “strapped for cash”. –Zing! (wonder if Rex Murphy wrote that one?)
Say yes to a next cup of coffee. A German banker recently fell asleep at his desk. His face rested on his keyboard where he hit a few buttons, accidentally transferring $311 million out of the bank. A nice surprise to the account holder on the other end I’m sure…Holy Volkswagen!, said German Robin. --That’s right old chum. You just read a completely unrelated, and unnecessary, German to Automotive to 60s Batman reference. You're welcome. Didn't think you'd do that when you woke up this morning did ya?!
A new survey says 80% of women are convinced men will never stop being childish. Yep, pretty much nails it. Oh, by the way, Insert HUGE fart noise here: hehehe….Fact: farts are funny!
And what Canadian is the most trustworthy. Answer, Who is Alex Trebek. Alex sits in 8th position of Reader’s Digests 100 most trustworthy people in America list. A little useless fact for you. You know incase you end up on Jeopardy one day.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Yep, this exists. Here’s your latest heart attack special. The ‘Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe’ (with cheese) --Of course it’s got cheese…’Merica!--. A Donut Sloppy Joe. No middle ground on this one. This would either be really good, or really disgusting:
And Florida man was recently using the bathroom at a McDonald's when he was robbed of his jewelry, cell phone and $100. I hear they left his meal alone though, so at least Officer Big Mac can rule out the Hamburglar.
Are you a “Game of Thrones” fan. It’s set an interesting record. The Season 3 finale has just become the ‘Most Pirated TV Episode of All-Time’. Gazallions of people have been downloading it. Having never seen the show myself, I do hear fightin’ & boobies are what it’s all about. So yeah this explains all the downloads. Maybe they should re-name it to "Game of Thongs"?!
Speaking of gitch. A Canadian woman and her teenage daughter have been caught trying to cross the border with 59 thousand dollars hidden in their bras. I’m thinking:
A. Them using the “we just got off shift at the strip club” defence.
B. I hear the border agent who found money in the bras described it as an uplifting experience…Boo, that was bad.
Or C. --Got this from a comment on a CBC article--..I hear the bra money ladies were described as being “strapped for cash”. –Zing! (wonder if Rex Murphy wrote that one?)
Say yes to a next cup of coffee. A German banker recently fell asleep at his desk. His face rested on his keyboard where he hit a few buttons, accidentally transferring $311 million out of the bank. A nice surprise to the account holder on the other end I’m sure…Holy Volkswagen!, said German Robin. --That’s right old chum. You just read a completely unrelated, and unnecessary, German to Automotive to 60s Batman reference. You're welcome. Didn't think you'd do that when you woke up this morning did ya?!
A new survey says 80% of women are convinced men will never stop being childish. Yep, pretty much nails it. Oh, by the way, Insert HUGE fart noise here: hehehe….Fact: farts are funny!
And what Canadian is the most trustworthy. Answer, Who is Alex Trebek. Alex sits in 8th position of Reader’s Digests 100 most trustworthy people in America list. A little useless fact for you. You know incase you end up on Jeopardy one day.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Yep, this exists. Here’s your latest heart attack special. The ‘Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe’ (with cheese) --Of course it’s got cheese…’Merica!--. A Donut Sloppy Joe. No middle ground on this one. This would either be really good, or really disgusting:
Monday, June 10, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- June3rd-June9th
Starting where I live, Timmins. One of the city’s most famous former residents, Shania Twain, just got a quirky award. A Smitty Award for most “Innovative Use of Scent Marketing”, for utilizing scent machines during her current Vegas show. Award for worst scent during a show, the Q92 studio after Taco Bell lunch day.
To my “Only In America File”, too awesome, and, too wrong, not to mention. Dunkin' Donuts in the US is launching a new product. The Donut Bacon Sandwich. Yep, you read that right. Fried eggs & bacon in between a sliced glazed donut…I’m thinking just like hockey arenas Dunkin' Donuts should start having defibrillators on site!
The Rob Ford scandal continues. I’m sure you heard, his alleged video has disappeared. I guess it fell through the crack.
Speaking crack & shady situations, Lindsay Lohan is upset her parents are making money off her rehab stint. What?!, the Lohans are upset with each other, while doing something sleazey. Well I never!…Ring Ring, this Pot calling Keetle, "you’re black"
Kardashian fans were excited as the sex of Kim and Kanye West’s baby was recently revealed. If you missed it, no surprise, they are having a douchebag. Well actually a douchebagette.
Marking his debut in 1934, Sunday was official “Donald Duck Day”. Giving a perfect chance to once again share one of my favourite useless facts: Donald Duck cartoons are banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. True story. And on that logic I guess my radio show would be banned in Finland too.
Fashion nugget. Sarah Jessica Parker is launching her own line of shoes. I hear they are called Horse Shoes...Ouch huh?, seem a little harsh to you? Please, as I've mentioned before, send your letters of hate to Ryan Crits...I don’t want them.
From my “Only in Hong Kong” files, which, really we should visit more often. A 66 year-old man recently went to the doctor and discovered he was a woman. How do you not notice that.
And, one to add to the lexicon. The French language has never had a word for French Kissing. Until now, Galocher (Gaw-law-shay) is the new official word. Seriously, this is legit; I’m not being tongue in cheek, or mouth for that matter, about it at all.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A charity soccer game between amputees ended in a brawl early last week. The fight started when one amputee tripped another with his crutch. I think Southpark said this one best:
To my “Only In America File”, too awesome, and, too wrong, not to mention. Dunkin' Donuts in the US is launching a new product. The Donut Bacon Sandwich. Yep, you read that right. Fried eggs & bacon in between a sliced glazed donut…I’m thinking just like hockey arenas Dunkin' Donuts should start having defibrillators on site!
The Rob Ford scandal continues. I’m sure you heard, his alleged video has disappeared. I guess it fell through the crack.
Speaking crack & shady situations, Lindsay Lohan is upset her parents are making money off her rehab stint. What?!, the Lohans are upset with each other, while doing something sleazey. Well I never!…Ring Ring, this Pot calling Keetle, "you’re black"
Kardashian fans were excited as the sex of Kim and Kanye West’s baby was recently revealed. If you missed it, no surprise, they are having a douchebag. Well actually a douchebagette.
Marking his debut in 1934, Sunday was official “Donald Duck Day”. Giving a perfect chance to once again share one of my favourite useless facts: Donald Duck cartoons are banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. True story. And on that logic I guess my radio show would be banned in Finland too.
Fashion nugget. Sarah Jessica Parker is launching her own line of shoes. I hear they are called Horse Shoes...Ouch huh?, seem a little harsh to you? Please, as I've mentioned before, send your letters of hate to Ryan Crits...I don’t want them.
From my “Only in Hong Kong” files, which, really we should visit more often. A 66 year-old man recently went to the doctor and discovered he was a woman. How do you not notice that.
And, one to add to the lexicon. The French language has never had a word for French Kissing. Until now, Galocher (Gaw-law-shay) is the new official word. Seriously, this is legit; I’m not being tongue in cheek, or mouth for that matter, about it at all.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A charity soccer game between amputees ended in a brawl early last week. The fight started when one amputee tripped another with his crutch. I think Southpark said this one best:
Sunday, June 2, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- May27th-June2nd
Confirmed, Larry King will host a political talk show beginning next month. It will air in Russia. And, this totally sets up a Yakov Smirnoff joke…In Soviet Russia, News tells you about Larry King.
Here is your latest Penta-fecta of stupidity. A man in New Mexico is facing several charges after he was: Having sex with a woman in a car, while he was driving, and he was drunk, and he crashed the car, and the girl was thrown from the vehicle. Naked, he tried to hide from Police in a Cactus…Ouch!
A movie about Hilary Clinton is in the works. Several actresses have been mentioned to play the role of a young Hilary, including Reese Witherspoon, and Scarlett Johansson. I hear Bill Clinton has already stated he is willing to spend as much time as possible with these women. You know to help them prepare for the part. Bet he can’t wait for the intern role auditions!
Here’s an odd Life reflecting Art scenario. On the season finale of the Simpsons, Marge visited fake dating website SassyMadison.com. In turn real life adultery website AshleyMadison.com has since seen a 230% increase in memberships because of it. Guess that site is making a lot of “D’oh” these days*
On Friday the great Clint Eastwood turned 83. Hands down he is still just as bad ass as his Dirty Harry days. Well almost, nowadays after saying “Go ahead make my day” to punks, he adds “As long as it’s before 3:30. I’ve got a nap scheduled”
Finally, I have to mention this, as it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s crack scandal. Personally, I don’t really care. However, you gotta have a touch of sympathy for the man and hope at least some of this isn’t true. So with that said, take these jokes as what they are, bad jokes** (it’s what I do, & he's in the news), and not an attack on the man. There is enough people doing that already:
-Tuesday was Rob Ford’s birthday. I felt bad I forgot how old he was. I didn’t know how many crack pipes I needed to put on his birthday cake.
-Are the drug dealers in the same boat? Denying the video, and other evidence, suggesting their links to legit business & Rob Ford.
-On Thursday the IKEA monkey trial began, Rob Ford also had 2 more staff members resign due to his crack scandal. You know it’s bad when a custody trial over a monkey found wandering an IKEA, is the most logical story coming out of the city of Toronto.
-At the rate things are going for him, how long till we see a disheveled Rob Ford aimlessly wandering an IKEA in a fur coat?!
-And yes, Toronto news definitely went bananas on Thursday. An Ikea Monkey trial, plus, everybody at the Mayor's Office was splitting –Zing!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. * & **-yep, lines so bad it's time to cue David Caruso’s CSI-Miami, sunglasses move/bad cheesey line/The Who’s Yeeeeeaaa! clip…several times:
Here is your latest Penta-fecta of stupidity. A man in New Mexico is facing several charges after he was: Having sex with a woman in a car, while he was driving, and he was drunk, and he crashed the car, and the girl was thrown from the vehicle. Naked, he tried to hide from Police in a Cactus…Ouch!
A movie about Hilary Clinton is in the works. Several actresses have been mentioned to play the role of a young Hilary, including Reese Witherspoon, and Scarlett Johansson. I hear Bill Clinton has already stated he is willing to spend as much time as possible with these women. You know to help them prepare for the part. Bet he can’t wait for the intern role auditions!
Here’s an odd Life reflecting Art scenario. On the season finale of the Simpsons, Marge visited fake dating website SassyMadison.com. In turn real life adultery website AshleyMadison.com has since seen a 230% increase in memberships because of it. Guess that site is making a lot of “D’oh” these days*
On Friday the great Clint Eastwood turned 83. Hands down he is still just as bad ass as his Dirty Harry days. Well almost, nowadays after saying “Go ahead make my day” to punks, he adds “As long as it’s before 3:30. I’ve got a nap scheduled”
Finally, I have to mention this, as it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s crack scandal. Personally, I don’t really care. However, you gotta have a touch of sympathy for the man and hope at least some of this isn’t true. So with that said, take these jokes as what they are, bad jokes** (it’s what I do, & he's in the news), and not an attack on the man. There is enough people doing that already:
-Tuesday was Rob Ford’s birthday. I felt bad I forgot how old he was. I didn’t know how many crack pipes I needed to put on his birthday cake.
-Are the drug dealers in the same boat? Denying the video, and other evidence, suggesting their links to legit business & Rob Ford.
-On Thursday the IKEA monkey trial began, Rob Ford also had 2 more staff members resign due to his crack scandal. You know it’s bad when a custody trial over a monkey found wandering an IKEA, is the most logical story coming out of the city of Toronto.
-At the rate things are going for him, how long till we see a disheveled Rob Ford aimlessly wandering an IKEA in a fur coat?!
-And yes, Toronto news definitely went bananas on Thursday. An Ikea Monkey trial, plus, everybody at the Mayor's Office was splitting –Zing!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. * & **-yep, lines so bad it's time to cue David Caruso’s CSI-Miami, sunglasses move/bad cheesey line/The Who’s Yeeeeeaaa! clip…several times:
Sunday, May 26, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- May21st-26th
Did you get up at 3 a.m. this morning? Apparently this was the time Netflix set for the release of the new season of Arrested Development. The Bluths are back baby. Based on it’s success, you have to wonder will other TV shows be resurrected from the network TV dead?
97th running of the Greatest Spectacle in Racing, the Indianapolis 500 went today. The race featured a record 68 lead changes. Tony Kanaan took the checkered flag at the Brickyard; It was his 12th time racing at Indy.
Beware drinkers. 29 Bars in New Jersey have gotten busted for serving low quality liquor in premium brand bottles. Something shady happening in the state of New Jersey. Well I never!
Some good drinking news. We recently wrapped up the May long weekend, and here's something to consider for the next long weekend. Confirmed AC/DC beer is coming soon to Canada! Like TNT, I hear it’s Dynamite.
Finally, some sad but true food for thought. What is the latest in demand cosmetic surgery? Answer: The “facebook facelift”. People are now getting surgery for the sole purpose of having good facebook photos. Wow, that’s sad…For the record these are the people I would unfriend.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Canadian Astronaut Chris Hadfield returned safely to earth on May 13th. All Canadians can be proud of his accomplishments. A little late I admit, however, incase you haven’t seen this, here is possibly the coolest 5:31 space video ever, enjoy:
97th running of the Greatest Spectacle in Racing, the Indianapolis 500 went today. The race featured a record 68 lead changes. Tony Kanaan took the checkered flag at the Brickyard; It was his 12th time racing at Indy.
Beware drinkers. 29 Bars in New Jersey have gotten busted for serving low quality liquor in premium brand bottles. Something shady happening in the state of New Jersey. Well I never!
Some good drinking news. We recently wrapped up the May long weekend, and here's something to consider for the next long weekend. Confirmed AC/DC beer is coming soon to Canada! Like TNT, I hear it’s Dynamite.
Finally, some sad but true food for thought. What is the latest in demand cosmetic surgery? Answer: The “facebook facelift”. People are now getting surgery for the sole purpose of having good facebook photos. Wow, that’s sad…For the record these are the people I would unfriend.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Canadian Astronaut Chris Hadfield returned safely to earth on May 13th. All Canadians can be proud of his accomplishments. A little late I admit, however, incase you haven’t seen this, here is possibly the coolest 5:31 space video ever, enjoy:
Monday, May 20, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- May13th-May20th
It’s been another big week of Late Night TV news. Confirmed, Seth Meyers of Saturday Night Live will take over NBC's 'Late Night' show from Jimmy Fallon. You’ll remember the network recently announced Jimmy is getting the Tonight Show next year, and Jay Leno is out. Also, from Saturday Night Live, Bill Hader has left the show (Saturday’s was his last). You might know him best as Stefon on the weekend update segments. Or enjoyed him as Officer Slater in Superbad.
Burger King is going after some of McDonalds McRib action. BK is coming out with a new BBQ rib sandwich of their own. Competition could get fierce, however I hear both restaurant chains promise to continue to win us over with bad commercials and marketing. Oh, and to never actually feed us good tasting quality food.
An 'Angry Birds' movie will hit theatres in 2016. Wonder if theatres will fall down with the first bird, you know, if it’s thrown right.
Arsenio Hall and Paula Abdul are dating again. In related news 1988 called saying “who cares”.
Wednesday was “Chocolate Chip Day”. Wanted to share that with you, for no other reason then to give you the perfect excuse to eat cookies this afternoon. You’re Welcome…Mmmm, cookies!..Chips Ahoy to you. Don’t forget the milk!
Finally, there’s lots happening in hockey. Leafs lost to Boston in Game 7 this past Monday. It was a bad, sad, painful loss. Let's not talk about it. However, NHL Playoffs continue. Game 3, Chicago VS Detroit goes tonight. Series is tied at 1-1. And, the World Hockey Championships wrapped yesterday. Home team Sweden took the gold this year. Something to take the sting out of Sweden putting Canada out of the tournament earlier this week. Actual news story: A Swedish man, recently died, after making love, to a hornet's nest!!...Yeah, let’s move forward confident a Canadian would not do that.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A very fascinating story came down this week. Ancient water was found deep underground in Timmins. Experts say this water could be over 2 Billion, yes Billion, years old. It’s the oldest known water on Earth!…I was fortunate enough get an exclusive interview with water specialist Robert Boucher, jr. on my show this week. Here is what it sounded like:
Burger King is going after some of McDonalds McRib action. BK is coming out with a new BBQ rib sandwich of their own. Competition could get fierce, however I hear both restaurant chains promise to continue to win us over with bad commercials and marketing. Oh, and to never actually feed us good tasting quality food.
An 'Angry Birds' movie will hit theatres in 2016. Wonder if theatres will fall down with the first bird, you know, if it’s thrown right.
Arsenio Hall and Paula Abdul are dating again. In related news 1988 called saying “who cares”.
Wednesday was “Chocolate Chip Day”. Wanted to share that with you, for no other reason then to give you the perfect excuse to eat cookies this afternoon. You’re Welcome…Mmmm, cookies!..Chips Ahoy to you. Don’t forget the milk!
Finally, there’s lots happening in hockey. Leafs lost to Boston in Game 7 this past Monday. It was a bad, sad, painful loss. Let's not talk about it. However, NHL Playoffs continue. Game 3, Chicago VS Detroit goes tonight. Series is tied at 1-1. And, the World Hockey Championships wrapped yesterday. Home team Sweden took the gold this year. Something to take the sting out of Sweden putting Canada out of the tournament earlier this week. Actual news story: A Swedish man, recently died, after making love, to a hornet's nest!!...Yeah, let’s move forward confident a Canadian would not do that.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A very fascinating story came down this week. Ancient water was found deep underground in Timmins. Experts say this water could be over 2 Billion, yes Billion, years old. It’s the oldest known water on Earth!…I was fortunate enough get an exclusive interview with water specialist Robert Boucher, jr. on my show this week. Here is what it sounded like:
Sunday, May 12, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- May5th-12th
He sings Whole Lotta Love, her, a Whole Lotta Crazy. (Random aside, this totally sounds like a cheesey sitcom description) Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant has obtained a restraining order against a fan. A woman named Alysson Billings, has been harassing him for over 3 years. Things got extra weird when she found out about his latest girlfriend. Alysson sent messages like "Your betrayal with another woman…stabs my mind/you are about to fall for that dirty old crotch./I cannot, will not, shall not live this way anymore." Yikes!
--(“What will Robert and Alysson be up to this week?!…catch ‘Whole Lotta Chaos’ Thursdays on…”)
To real sitcoms & dramas, we are into season finale time on TV. Many shows are wrapping the next few weeks. American Dad & Bob’s Burgers are among shows finishing up tonight*. Community finished its season earlier this week. How NBC would want to scrap that show last year is beyond me. And, we said goodbye to Tom Selleck’s moustache for another year, Blue Bloods was also among this week’s season enders.
Sad and odd news, Peter Robbins the voice of ‘Charlie Brown’ from the old cartoons, he’s in trouble with the law. Peter has just been sentenced to drug rehab and a year in jail. His quote when asked about the ruling: Good Grief!
Customs officials in the Caribbean just arrested three fake nuns for drug smuggling cocaine. Dear Whoppi Goldberg, there’s the ‘Sister Act 4’ plot you’ve been looking for.
Finally, here’s something to save your ‘Money Money Money’ for. The ABBA museum in Sweden opens this week. How much you wanna bet all the displays are made of Ikea furniture?! Oh, come on, “Take a chance on me” with that joke...Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking “Mamma Mia” that was bad.
--And that my friend is the hat trick of ABBA song references. Didn’t think you were gonna end up at that when you started reading did ya ;-)
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Reminder, you’ll wanna record those shows. A huge night of NHL hockey is ahead. Including the Leafs, they’ve made it to Game 6 against Boston. It’s another F*&k or Swim game, Go Leafs Go! Keep it coming!…
This past Monday was Game 3, the first Leafs Playoff home game in since 2004; a tough loss, it featured however another very fine CBC opening montage. This one gave Leafs fans butterflies. Bonus points on the Jim Cuddy CBC:
…Fact: If the Leafs win tonight’s game the crowds cheers will likely blow the roof off the Air Canada Centre!
To real sitcoms & dramas, we are into season finale time on TV. Many shows are wrapping the next few weeks. American Dad & Bob’s Burgers are among shows finishing up tonight*. Community finished its season earlier this week. How NBC would want to scrap that show last year is beyond me. And, we said goodbye to Tom Selleck’s moustache for another year, Blue Bloods was also among this week’s season enders.
Sad and odd news, Peter Robbins the voice of ‘Charlie Brown’ from the old cartoons, he’s in trouble with the law. Peter has just been sentenced to drug rehab and a year in jail. His quote when asked about the ruling: Good Grief!
Customs officials in the Caribbean just arrested three fake nuns for drug smuggling cocaine. Dear Whoppi Goldberg, there’s the ‘Sister Act 4’ plot you’ve been looking for.
Finally, here’s something to save your ‘Money Money Money’ for. The ABBA museum in Sweden opens this week. How much you wanna bet all the displays are made of Ikea furniture?! Oh, come on, “Take a chance on me” with that joke...Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking “Mamma Mia” that was bad.
--And that my friend is the hat trick of ABBA song references. Didn’t think you were gonna end up at that when you started reading did ya ;-)
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Reminder, you’ll wanna record those shows. A huge night of NHL hockey is ahead. Including the Leafs, they’ve made it to Game 6 against Boston. It’s another F*&k or Swim game, Go Leafs Go! Keep it coming!…
This past Monday was Game 3, the first Leafs Playoff home game in since 2004; a tough loss, it featured however another very fine CBC opening montage. This one gave Leafs fans butterflies. Bonus points on the Jim Cuddy CBC:
…Fact: If the Leafs win tonight’s game the crowds cheers will likely blow the roof off the Air Canada Centre!
Sunday, May 5, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Apr29th-May5th
It’s May baby…NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs are here!*
The new Bill & Hillary Clinton National Airport was dedicated Friday, in Little Rock, Arkansas. Bill Clinton I hear is super excited, having an airport named after him, he’s thinking Mile High Club trips will be that much easier.
Food for thought, slight pun intended, for your coming summer plans. If you are visiting Alberta in July don’t forget to pack heart attack medicine. Calgary Stampede planners have announced the new food items set to debut in the Midway this year. Including, this absolute heart stopper: Deep Fried Philly Cheesesteak Rollups…I think my cholesterol went up just writing that sentence.
A huge week in Sports, NBA centre Jason Collins, came out as gay. Following the announcement he says the support he's received has been “incredible”. Really, I thought he would have described it as “fabulous”.
Here’s an interesting tip. Research says swearing infront of someone is a good way to strengthen your relationships with friends, family, co workers and other people you know…So in that case. Thanks for reading, Fuckers!
Clint Eastwood and his wife should perhaps do some swearing at each other. Sad news, his wife recently started seeing a therapist to deal with depression & anxiety their relationship is causing her. Worst part, I hear she is dealing with a lot of jealous feelings too, as Clint spends all his time talking to that damn chair instead of her.
Here’s your proof there is something wrong with the world. “Two-and-a-Half Men” has been renewed for an 11th season. Wow, how the hell has this terrible show been on this long?! Remember MASH, the beloved, critically acclaimed show; its final episode set a television ratings record. It ran for 11 seasons. There my friend, is some comparative TV food for thought for ya.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Go Leafs Go!! I’ve said it many a time before and I’m saying it again. I love the opening montages CBC does before games, especially during the Playoffs. This is the opener from the Leafs first game against Boston. It’s awesome: (Happy Pat Burns at 2:15 just has to make you smile!)
P.S.S.--Since we are talking hockey, in addition to the Toronto Maple Leafs triumphant return to the second season!, here’s my Top 5 things to look forward to during the Playoffs:
#5- CBC HNIC opening montages (seriously, I love these things!)
#4- John Tortorella post game press conferences…They are magical aren't they
#3- Montreal fans rioting, win or lose
#2- Horrendous US sportscasters showing highlights (I’ve never seen “Iced Haackey” or cheered for a “Samuel Cup” win before, Americans apparently do)
#1- Gary Bettman getting booed when he presents the Stanley Cup!
The new Bill & Hillary Clinton National Airport was dedicated Friday, in Little Rock, Arkansas. Bill Clinton I hear is super excited, having an airport named after him, he’s thinking Mile High Club trips will be that much easier.
Food for thought, slight pun intended, for your coming summer plans. If you are visiting Alberta in July don’t forget to pack heart attack medicine. Calgary Stampede planners have announced the new food items set to debut in the Midway this year. Including, this absolute heart stopper: Deep Fried Philly Cheesesteak Rollups…I think my cholesterol went up just writing that sentence.
A huge week in Sports, NBA centre Jason Collins, came out as gay. Following the announcement he says the support he's received has been “incredible”. Really, I thought he would have described it as “fabulous”.
Here’s an interesting tip. Research says swearing infront of someone is a good way to strengthen your relationships with friends, family, co workers and other people you know…So in that case. Thanks for reading, Fuckers!
Clint Eastwood and his wife should perhaps do some swearing at each other. Sad news, his wife recently started seeing a therapist to deal with depression & anxiety their relationship is causing her. Worst part, I hear she is dealing with a lot of jealous feelings too, as Clint spends all his time talking to that damn chair instead of her.
Here’s your proof there is something wrong with the world. “Two-and-a-Half Men” has been renewed for an 11th season. Wow, how the hell has this terrible show been on this long?! Remember MASH, the beloved, critically acclaimed show; its final episode set a television ratings record. It ran for 11 seasons. There my friend, is some comparative TV food for thought for ya.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Go Leafs Go!! I’ve said it many a time before and I’m saying it again. I love the opening montages CBC does before games, especially during the Playoffs. This is the opener from the Leafs first game against Boston. It’s awesome: (Happy Pat Burns at 2:15 just has to make you smile!)
P.S.S.--Since we are talking hockey, in addition to the Toronto Maple Leafs triumphant return to the second season!, here’s my Top 5 things to look forward to during the Playoffs:
#5- CBC HNIC opening montages (seriously, I love these things!)
#4- John Tortorella post game press conferences…They are magical aren't they
#3- Montreal fans rioting, win or lose
#2- Horrendous US sportscasters showing highlights (I’ve never seen “Iced Haackey” or cheered for a “Samuel Cup” win before, Americans apparently do)
#1- Gary Bettman getting booed when he presents the Stanley Cup!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Apr22nd-28th
Holy Shit!, Spring seems on the way, finally! And, great research to pass along as the weather starts turning nice. Gardeners, here’s a tip, play heavy metal music to your plants. Specifically Black Sabbath. I’m not making this up, research show Black Sabbath albums helps plants grow nicer flowers over other music. My theory, Ozzy Osbourne’s been speaking plant all this time, that’s why we can’t understand him!
Time Magazines 100 most influential people in the world issue is coming out. Jay-Z will be on one of 7 special edition covers. I wonder, will he be called Jay-Zed on Canadian edition covers?
Police in Brantford are looking for a thief who stole $5,000 worth of bubble gum. Cops describe the case as a real sticky situation.
…Even better, Bob from work gave me this one: He wonders if they have a Gumshoe on the case. Brilliant!...For more Bob brilliance check him out HERE, give him a listen on the weekends!
Following her tantrum with Police, Reese Witherspoon cancelled her appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Tuesday. To fill time for the segment Jimmy, a pro, drew on his Saturday Night Live experience….Oh, no improv, or special sketches. He just spent 10 minutes giggling at things that weren’t funny, and looking at the camera when he shouldn’t.
Wrestler, The Rock, had stomach surgery this week. Good news is he’s OK. But I wonder did bad food cause it? Did he not take his own advice to ‘Smell what The Rock is Cooking’ before eating it.
Ben Affleck is planning to live on 1.50 a day, to raise awareness of the ‘Live Below the Line’ anti-poverty campaign. Living off a $1.50 a day huh?!…I’ve been doing that since I got into radio.
Futurama fans, sad news the show been axed. The current season will be it’s last. “Bad news everyone!” is how I hear the Professor announced the decision to the other characters.
And, a new study says Beer Pong Balls can have up to 3 million germs on them. 90% are harmless, however 10% are really dangerous. The lesson here, be careful were your balls go…And really, that is a good general Rule of Life isn’t it!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A few useless comedy facts for the P.S. this week. 20 years ago Friday Conan O’Brien was named successor to Late Night with David Letterman. A complete unknown to the audience at the time, Conan has gone on to become one of the true leaders of late night TV. By the way Conan also hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend. A huge annual event, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, and Norm MacDonald are among those who have hosted over the years.
These 2 videos are perfect examples of the epicness, and the balls, of Steven Colbert and Norm MacDonald. Nobody else could of pulled this off:
Norm:
Colbert:
Time Magazines 100 most influential people in the world issue is coming out. Jay-Z will be on one of 7 special edition covers. I wonder, will he be called Jay-Zed on Canadian edition covers?
Police in Brantford are looking for a thief who stole $5,000 worth of bubble gum. Cops describe the case as a real sticky situation.
…Even better, Bob from work gave me this one: He wonders if they have a Gumshoe on the case. Brilliant!...For more Bob brilliance check him out HERE, give him a listen on the weekends!
Following her tantrum with Police, Reese Witherspoon cancelled her appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Tuesday. To fill time for the segment Jimmy, a pro, drew on his Saturday Night Live experience….Oh, no improv, or special sketches. He just spent 10 minutes giggling at things that weren’t funny, and looking at the camera when he shouldn’t.
Wrestler, The Rock, had stomach surgery this week. Good news is he’s OK. But I wonder did bad food cause it? Did he not take his own advice to ‘Smell what The Rock is Cooking’ before eating it.
Ben Affleck is planning to live on 1.50 a day, to raise awareness of the ‘Live Below the Line’ anti-poverty campaign. Living off a $1.50 a day huh?!…I’ve been doing that since I got into radio.
Futurama fans, sad news the show been axed. The current season will be it’s last. “Bad news everyone!” is how I hear the Professor announced the decision to the other characters.
And, a new study says Beer Pong Balls can have up to 3 million germs on them. 90% are harmless, however 10% are really dangerous. The lesson here, be careful were your balls go…And really, that is a good general Rule of Life isn’t it!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A few useless comedy facts for the P.S. this week. 20 years ago Friday Conan O’Brien was named successor to Late Night with David Letterman. A complete unknown to the audience at the time, Conan has gone on to become one of the true leaders of late night TV. By the way Conan also hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend. A huge annual event, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, and Norm MacDonald are among those who have hosted over the years.
These 2 videos are perfect examples of the epicness, and the balls, of Steven Colbert and Norm MacDonald. Nobody else could of pulled this off:
Norm:
Colbert:
Monday, April 22, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Apr15th-21st
Leafs, made, the, Playoffs!!!! Yeah!
Hey have you got a 3D TV?, great. Now throw it out! New in Japan 4D. Currently debuting in theatres, 4D entertainment could be in North America in a few years. You heard it here first kids.
Remember Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan; get this, he is missing $34 million. This from a secret bank account his tax advisor stole from…OK, A: how the hell did Paul Hogan amass 34 million dollars?!, oh, and B: I hear Switzerland called, yeah they said to Paul: “Hey you call that a secret bank account, ha, we’ve got secret bank accounts!”…The Swiss…anybody?...nobody?…alright, nevermind*
Faith Hill has announced she’ll no longer be singing the opening to NBC’s Sunday Night Football. You gotta wonder, whose next to come in and completely butcher a Joan Jett song before a football game.
4/20 was Saturday (April 20th, for you calendarly impaired --Yes, I just invented that word--), a big day for Pot smokers, in the US alone over 50,000 people were expected at celebrations in Denver & Seattle. And I’ll guess, at least as many bags of Doritos were sold.
A man in Delware has spent over 120 thousand dollars building a Batcave replica in his basement. Apparently his wife found out how much he’s spent and is not impressed. Wait a minute!, the guy who built his own Batcave has a wife?! I think this is the real story here...old chum. There's you Adam West reference for the day.
A beat-up green door with broken glass just sold for 76 hundred dollars at an auction. Why?, it was the front door to the house Paul McCartney grew up in. Someone bought and held on to this door all these years…doesn’t make your folks seem like such pack rats now does it.
And the Billboard Music Awards are coming up next month. Confirmed,Tracy Morgan will be the host. Oh, you know somebody’s gonna get pregnant...There's your Tracy Morgan reference, and mention, for the day.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Incase my terrible reference really did miss everyone:
..Funny now, right?!…No, still not…baa, forget it!
P.S.S.-- I'm not one for politics, but, these are the things I think about...
So Justin Trudeau is head of the Liberals now, he’s got his flowing locks of hair:
Thomas Mulcair, leader of the NDP, he’s got his bitching beard:
Perhaps it’s time for Steven Harper to actually get an adult hair cut:
...Steve, you look like a Neeerrrd!
I say he grows some wicked pork chop sideburns and our next election comes down to facial hair!… Still a better topic then most of the political finger pointing anyway right?! Besides who wouldn’t want a guy looking like this representing us on the world stage:
...Actual fact, that's a photo of Ambrose Burnside, the guy sideburns were named after. Serious, look it up...OK, we're starting to learn, this blog post is over!!
Hey have you got a 3D TV?, great. Now throw it out! New in Japan 4D. Currently debuting in theatres, 4D entertainment could be in North America in a few years. You heard it here first kids.
Remember Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan; get this, he is missing $34 million. This from a secret bank account his tax advisor stole from…OK, A: how the hell did Paul Hogan amass 34 million dollars?!, oh, and B: I hear Switzerland called, yeah they said to Paul: “Hey you call that a secret bank account, ha, we’ve got secret bank accounts!”…The Swiss…anybody?...nobody?…alright, nevermind*
Faith Hill has announced she’ll no longer be singing the opening to NBC’s Sunday Night Football. You gotta wonder, whose next to come in and completely butcher a Joan Jett song before a football game.
4/20 was Saturday (April 20th, for you calendarly impaired --Yes, I just invented that word--), a big day for Pot smokers, in the US alone over 50,000 people were expected at celebrations in Denver & Seattle. And I’ll guess, at least as many bags of Doritos were sold.
A man in Delware has spent over 120 thousand dollars building a Batcave replica in his basement. Apparently his wife found out how much he’s spent and is not impressed. Wait a minute!, the guy who built his own Batcave has a wife?! I think this is the real story here...old chum. There's you Adam West reference for the day.
A beat-up green door with broken glass just sold for 76 hundred dollars at an auction. Why?, it was the front door to the house Paul McCartney grew up in. Someone bought and held on to this door all these years…doesn’t make your folks seem like such pack rats now does it.
And the Billboard Music Awards are coming up next month. Confirmed,Tracy Morgan will be the host. Oh, you know somebody’s gonna get pregnant...There's your Tracy Morgan reference, and mention, for the day.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Incase my terrible reference really did miss everyone:
..Funny now, right?!…No, still not…baa, forget it!
P.S.S.-- I'm not one for politics, but, these are the things I think about...
So Justin Trudeau is head of the Liberals now, he’s got his flowing locks of hair:
Thomas Mulcair, leader of the NDP, he’s got his bitching beard:
Perhaps it’s time for Steven Harper to actually get an adult hair cut:
...Steve, you look like a Neeerrrd!
I say he grows some wicked pork chop sideburns and our next election comes down to facial hair!… Still a better topic then most of the political finger pointing anyway right?! Besides who wouldn’t want a guy looking like this representing us on the world stage:
Sunday, April 14, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Apr7th-14th
The MTV Movie Awards go tonight. Confirmed Brad Pitt will present the award for Movie of the Year. Guess whose ratings just went sky high. That sound you hear now is women everywhere setting the channel, you know a little early, just to be ready.
Bill Clinton is now on Twitter. Steven Colbert signed him up when Bill was on "The Colbert Report" Monday. I hear his first follower was Monica Lewinski, and Hillary was not impressed…Ah, 15 years later, those jokes still work!
From my ‘Only in America’ file. A Denny's Wedding Chapel opened Wednesday in Las Vegas. The restaurant charges only $95 for a wedding; Service includes a bottle of Champagne and a pancake Wedding cake. Wedding parties receive 20% off their food bills too. Classy right?!...I’ll stick with my original Vegas drive-thru wedding plans when I get married, thank you very much.
Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” has been pulled from Chinese theatres. They say it was for technical reasons. Tarantino has already edited the movie, taking out some of the violence. So, my guess is, this technical reason is the name. In China wouldn’t it be called ‘DJango UnChang-ed’…
Finally, Olympia Beer is offering $1 million to anyone, who captures Bigfoot. The ironic, best, part of winning this million dollar contest, you’ll then be able to afford to drink something better then Olympia Beer.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Some birthday shout outs to 3 cool guys. All celebrating birthday’s this past Friday.
The King of Late Night, yeah, Dave Letterman is 66. Seems like just yesterday Drew Barrymore was flashing him for his 48th, doesn’t it?!
Ed O’Neill, Jay on Modern Family, yet I’ll argue, still best known as Al Bundy, he is 67.
And hands down one of the finest sports broadcasters anywhere, Ron Maclean is 53. Don Cherry gets all the buzz, but you know Coaches Corner would suck without Ron. So much CBC programming would suck without Ron.
Bill Clinton is now on Twitter. Steven Colbert signed him up when Bill was on "The Colbert Report" Monday. I hear his first follower was Monica Lewinski, and Hillary was not impressed…Ah, 15 years later, those jokes still work!
From my ‘Only in America’ file. A Denny's Wedding Chapel opened Wednesday in Las Vegas. The restaurant charges only $95 for a wedding; Service includes a bottle of Champagne and a pancake Wedding cake. Wedding parties receive 20% off their food bills too. Classy right?!...I’ll stick with my original Vegas drive-thru wedding plans when I get married, thank you very much.
Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” has been pulled from Chinese theatres. They say it was for technical reasons. Tarantino has already edited the movie, taking out some of the violence. So, my guess is, this technical reason is the name. In China wouldn’t it be called ‘DJango UnChang-ed’…
Finally, Olympia Beer is offering $1 million to anyone, who captures Bigfoot. The ironic, best, part of winning this million dollar contest, you’ll then be able to afford to drink something better then Olympia Beer.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Some birthday shout outs to 3 cool guys. All celebrating birthday’s this past Friday.
The King of Late Night, yeah, Dave Letterman is 66. Seems like just yesterday Drew Barrymore was flashing him for his 48th, doesn’t it?!
Ed O’Neill, Jay on Modern Family, yet I’ll argue, still best known as Al Bundy, he is 67.
And hands down one of the finest sports broadcasters anywhere, Ron Maclean is 53. Don Cherry gets all the buzz, but you know Coaches Corner would suck without Ron. So much CBC programming would suck without Ron.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar25th-Apr7th
I’ve been off on vacation. Let’s get back at it shall we!
The long wait is over 'Mad Men' fans, season 6 debuts tonight. It’s a 2 hour season opener, so, if you like to drink along with the characters, you might need to water down your whisky a little. Or perhaps risk passing out before making it through the whole episode.
McDonald's in the Boston area are now requiring a Bachelor’s Degree, this for all new cashier applicants. Seems a little much, however my guess is the fine print reads ‘Bachelors Degree from Hamburger University’…I hear Grimace is a professor there.
Wednesday was NHL trade deadline day. It was a turd this year. The biggest trade of the day came from TV. NBC finally confirmed rumours, Jay Leno is out as Tonight Show host, and Jimmy Fallon will take over in February.
Continuing with Late Night TV, Lindsay Lohan will be on the Letterman Tuesday. Expect her to be charged with doing something stupid in New York City by Wednesday morning at the latest.
The oldest person in America died earlier this week. The lady’s name was Elsie Thompson, she was 113. Larry King, once again, sending his condolences, but adding he’s excited to bump up another spot on the list!
Facebook revealed new cellphone software Thursday. Called ‘Home’, they say it’s designed for instant messaging & photo sharing…Ummm, Dear facebook, I think most people’s phones already do that. Just sayin’
Researchers in Tokyo are developing a television that releases smells. Great when you are watching the cooking channel. Really bad when you are watching a documentary on incontinence.
A new book claims, in the late 80s Freddy Mercury of Queen once snuck Princess Diana into a gay Bar. The Princess was disguised in an army jacket, hat and sunglasses. And, I hear, everyone in the bar thought..she..looked..super fabulous!!! (said in your best Big Gay Al voice of course!*)
And finally the latest sign the world is doomed. Honey Boo Boo is coming out with a book “The Complete Guide on How to Redneck-og-nize the Honey Boo Boo in You''. Good God.
--How did we ever get Honey Boo Boo by the way? I hear they made a mistake trying to make a second Honey Yogi-- :-P
-Gilmore
--Oh, P.S. *-If you are not familiar, this is South Park's Big Gay Al:
The long wait is over 'Mad Men' fans, season 6 debuts tonight. It’s a 2 hour season opener, so, if you like to drink along with the characters, you might need to water down your whisky a little. Or perhaps risk passing out before making it through the whole episode.
McDonald's in the Boston area are now requiring a Bachelor’s Degree, this for all new cashier applicants. Seems a little much, however my guess is the fine print reads ‘Bachelors Degree from Hamburger University’…I hear Grimace is a professor there.
Wednesday was NHL trade deadline day. It was a turd this year. The biggest trade of the day came from TV. NBC finally confirmed rumours, Jay Leno is out as Tonight Show host, and Jimmy Fallon will take over in February.
Continuing with Late Night TV, Lindsay Lohan will be on the Letterman Tuesday. Expect her to be charged with doing something stupid in New York City by Wednesday morning at the latest.
The oldest person in America died earlier this week. The lady’s name was Elsie Thompson, she was 113. Larry King, once again, sending his condolences, but adding he’s excited to bump up another spot on the list!
Facebook revealed new cellphone software Thursday. Called ‘Home’, they say it’s designed for instant messaging & photo sharing…Ummm, Dear facebook, I think most people’s phones already do that. Just sayin’
Researchers in Tokyo are developing a television that releases smells. Great when you are watching the cooking channel. Really bad when you are watching a documentary on incontinence.
A new book claims, in the late 80s Freddy Mercury of Queen once snuck Princess Diana into a gay Bar. The Princess was disguised in an army jacket, hat and sunglasses. And, I hear, everyone in the bar thought..she..looked..super fabulous!!! (said in your best Big Gay Al voice of course!*)
And finally the latest sign the world is doomed. Honey Boo Boo is coming out with a book “The Complete Guide on How to Redneck-og-nize the Honey Boo Boo in You''. Good God.
--How did we ever get Honey Boo Boo by the way? I hear they made a mistake trying to make a second Honey Yogi-- :-P
-Gilmore
--Oh, P.S. *-If you are not familiar, this is South Park's Big Gay Al:
Sunday, March 24, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar18th-24th
Let’s kick off in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan started her new trial Monday. Huh, a redhead with a court date the day after St. Patrick’s Day, who'da thunk it.
Late Night TV wars are firing up again. Just a few years after royally screwing over Conan O’Brien, NBC is again focusing on The Tonight Show. As of writing this it's still unconfirmed; but word is Jay Leno is once more out as host. Rumour adds Jimmy Fallon will take over, and, The Tonight Show will move to New York City. This, by the way, is exactly what I've always felt should've happened with Conan. Give him the show, keep him in New York, keep his desk on the proper side of the studio (one of my personal theories, way too long to share today) and leave him alone to do his thing!...Congratulations NBC, further proving your failure as a network, you just spent Years & Millions on something I could have told you in 2004, idiots.
Some unsettling news this week, Elmo’s former puppeteer could be in trouble again. More underage sex with boys, smoking Meth, and pressuring kids to use the drug, are among the latest allegations. Shocking claims, and really sad too; you know its bad when your love for going to work and stuffing a hand up someone's ass everyday is the least of your compulsions.
In music news, The Who are coming out with a line of T-shirts & Hoodies. Kinda cool, however the cost is not. 48-98 dollars for a T-shirt. What are they high?! If I’m coughin’ up 98 bucks for a Who T-shirt it better be signed, worn on a bender, and vomited on, by Keith Moon himself. Just sayin’
Look out ‘Merica, you have just been outfatted! McDonald’s China laid a trump card with their latest fast food heart attack: Sausage Double Beef Burgers. I say their sell line should be ‘Do you want a defibrillator with that?’…As with all Chinese, I hear, still, you find yourself hungry 2 hours later.
Finally, a new survey claims babies are 8 times more distracting to drivers than adults. Really?!, obviously this survey looked at drivers dealing with sober adults --ever dealt with drunk people in your car. Yeah, exactly!-- Either that, or those survey babies were really hammered.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Just a little public service announcement. DO NOT go see The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. To clarify further, don’t go see it, don’t ever rent it, years from now when you stumble upon it at 2 a.m. on TV and the only other option is a National Film Board documentary about paint drying, watch the documentary. Seriously, I am a huge fan of stuff "so bad it's good", but this movie is so beyond bad it's downright terrible. Alan Arkin was the only highlight.
Late Night TV wars are firing up again. Just a few years after royally screwing over Conan O’Brien, NBC is again focusing on The Tonight Show. As of writing this it's still unconfirmed; but word is Jay Leno is once more out as host. Rumour adds Jimmy Fallon will take over, and, The Tonight Show will move to New York City. This, by the way, is exactly what I've always felt should've happened with Conan. Give him the show, keep him in New York, keep his desk on the proper side of the studio (one of my personal theories, way too long to share today) and leave him alone to do his thing!...Congratulations NBC, further proving your failure as a network, you just spent Years & Millions on something I could have told you in 2004, idiots.
Some unsettling news this week, Elmo’s former puppeteer could be in trouble again. More underage sex with boys, smoking Meth, and pressuring kids to use the drug, are among the latest allegations. Shocking claims, and really sad too; you know its bad when your love for going to work and stuffing a hand up someone's ass everyday is the least of your compulsions.
In music news, The Who are coming out with a line of T-shirts & Hoodies. Kinda cool, however the cost is not. 48-98 dollars for a T-shirt. What are they high?! If I’m coughin’ up 98 bucks for a Who T-shirt it better be signed, worn on a bender, and vomited on, by Keith Moon himself. Just sayin’
Look out ‘Merica, you have just been outfatted! McDonald’s China laid a trump card with their latest fast food heart attack: Sausage Double Beef Burgers. I say their sell line should be ‘Do you want a defibrillator with that?’…As with all Chinese, I hear, still, you find yourself hungry 2 hours later.
Finally, a new survey claims babies are 8 times more distracting to drivers than adults. Really?!, obviously this survey looked at drivers dealing with sober adults --ever dealt with drunk people in your car. Yeah, exactly!-- Either that, or those survey babies were really hammered.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Just a little public service announcement. DO NOT go see The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. To clarify further, don’t go see it, don’t ever rent it, years from now when you stumble upon it at 2 a.m. on TV and the only other option is a National Film Board documentary about paint drying, watch the documentary. Seriously, I am a huge fan of stuff "so bad it's good", but this movie is so beyond bad it's downright terrible. Alan Arkin was the only highlight.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar11th-17th
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Are you wear something green?, have you peed green today?, is there green puke on your shoes? Oh such a magical time isn’t it!
Turns out a city in Alabama was to hold the world’s smallest St. Pats parade this year. I hear the sole marcher was the man in town with the smallest Shillelagh, Peter O'Shorty* ;-P …Hey, it’s not the size of the Shillelagh, but how well it stirs the Pot o’ Gold right?!, I’m sure that’s an Irish saying somewhere...
Jennifer Love Hewitt has just been named Maxim Magazine’s hottest cover girl ever. This less then a week after stating she wanted to insure her breasts for 5 million dollars. In related news, I joined the Breast Insurance business this week. Jennifer if you're reading, I offer a personal, hands on, approach to breast coverage. My slogan: “Put your Boobs in my Hands”. I’m licenced to cover all cup sizes too!, call for details ladies!
The big buzz around the world, Catholics got a new Pope this week. Pope Francis. At first, there was some confusion about the smoke colour from the Sistine Chapel signifying the event. Was it black smoke? Was it white smoke? Was a decision on Pope even made or were Cardinals just smoking nasty cigars in there? Did they burn a pizza?
It was an historic week for Canada too. On Wednesday, Astronaut Chris Hadfield, officially took over as commander of the International Space Station; the first time for a Canadian. There is no doubt Chris is 100% Canadian through & through, infact I hear his first act at the controls was taking the space station on a beer run.
Wanting to re-revaluate their products, Johnson & Johnson has voluntarily removed 3 types of KY Jelly Lubricant from store shelves…"Oh my god what am I going to do now?!", screams teenage boys everywhere.
Finally, I offer some food for thought: If the Dr. Seuss series ever comes out with a rock album they should call it “Horton hears a Who made Who” ;-)
--I think Dr. Seuss characters would definitely be AC/DC fans…Would you crank the volume in the house, would rock to Angus with a mouse!--
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Yeah that was my good St. Patrick’s Day joke. Here’s a few others from my 'so bad they're good file', my favourite file by the way, ha!:
How do you know the Irish drink too much? Shillelagh, Leprechaun, and Siob(h)an are all correct spellings.
Happy 'Scottish St. Patrick’s Day' tomorrow!…Green beer doesn’t get any cheaper then on March 18th.
Turns out a city in Alabama was to hold the world’s smallest St. Pats parade this year. I hear the sole marcher was the man in town with the smallest Shillelagh, Peter O'Shorty* ;-P …Hey, it’s not the size of the Shillelagh, but how well it stirs the Pot o’ Gold right?!, I’m sure that’s an Irish saying somewhere...
Jennifer Love Hewitt has just been named Maxim Magazine’s hottest cover girl ever. This less then a week after stating she wanted to insure her breasts for 5 million dollars. In related news, I joined the Breast Insurance business this week. Jennifer if you're reading, I offer a personal, hands on, approach to breast coverage. My slogan: “Put your Boobs in my Hands”. I’m licenced to cover all cup sizes too!, call for details ladies!
The big buzz around the world, Catholics got a new Pope this week. Pope Francis. At first, there was some confusion about the smoke colour from the Sistine Chapel signifying the event. Was it black smoke? Was it white smoke? Was a decision on Pope even made or were Cardinals just smoking nasty cigars in there? Did they burn a pizza?
It was an historic week for Canada too. On Wednesday, Astronaut Chris Hadfield, officially took over as commander of the International Space Station; the first time for a Canadian. There is no doubt Chris is 100% Canadian through & through, infact I hear his first act at the controls was taking the space station on a beer run.
Wanting to re-revaluate their products, Johnson & Johnson has voluntarily removed 3 types of KY Jelly Lubricant from store shelves…"Oh my god what am I going to do now?!", screams teenage boys everywhere.
Finally, I offer some food for thought: If the Dr. Seuss series ever comes out with a rock album they should call it “Horton hears a Who made Who” ;-)
--I think Dr. Seuss characters would definitely be AC/DC fans…Would you crank the volume in the house, would rock to Angus with a mouse!--
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Yeah that was my good St. Patrick’s Day joke. Here’s a few others from my 'so bad they're good file', my favourite file by the way, ha!:
How do you know the Irish drink too much? Shillelagh, Leprechaun, and Siob(h)an are all correct spellings.
Happy 'Scottish St. Patrick’s Day' tomorrow!…Green beer doesn’t get any cheaper then on March 18th.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar5th-10th
Happy Mario Day! This, to do with the date March 10th, or Mar10…Kinda looks like Mario right? Yep, this is a recognized day, and a very useless fact indeed.
Authorities in England now claim horse meat has been discovered in Taco Bell food. I’m calling absolute BS on this story. Come on, horse meat at Taco Bell?, you know as well as I do there’s no real meat in Taco Bell food.
Continuing in England, The Queen was hospitalized this week with a stomach bug. I hear she’s been spending even more time on the throne then usual.
Absolutely amazing news, doctors have completely cured a baby born with HIV. You can’t help but feel excited to live in a time like this. And a little sad too; my biggest accomplishment this week was eating lunch without spilling anything on my shirt…Hats off to those doctors & researchers, and all, who are working to truly making the world a better place!
Playboy magazine is launching a Hebrew-language edition. Somewhere out there Linda Richmand* is feeling a little verklempt after hearing the news.
A woman in Nigeria claims she was pregnant for 25 months before recently giving birth. Ladies, could you even imagine being pregnant that long?, Eeek! At first doctors didn’t believe her, but changed their minds after she gave birth to an Elephant…A little gestation joke for the Zoologists ;-)
Jeff Foxworthy is going to host a TV reality series this summer. Called The American Baking Competition, I’ve already got the network's tagline for the show: “If you’re an Amateur Chef competing in cooking challenges this July, then you just might be on CBS”…Copyright Gilmore!
The Conclave to select a new Pope begins Tuesday. Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Quebec is one of the frontrunners. If chosen, I hope he remembers his Canadian roots when picking his Pope name. My suggestions: Pope Poutine, Pope Back Bacon, or go with one of Canada’s iconic inspiring figures. Pope St. Bob & Doug sounds nice. Or, better yet Pope St. Connors!**
A Lego spill recently shut down a highway in West Virginia. A scary situation, however I hear quick thinking kids built a bridge with it so cars could get through.
A new study says Walmart is the most popular place for people to find love at first sight. Cheap, throwaway, low quality love perhaps. Hey, each to their own, but I’ll find my love at first sight at a locally owned and operated store, thank you very much!…And really, love at first sight at a Walmart, did they do this study with Whales?
And a happy story to wrap up. Having to drop out at age at 13, a 106 year old man recently received his high school diploma. Very cool. I heard he was also valedictorian, but kind of lost the crowd giving his speech; all his talk about the roaring 20s, Flapper girls being the Bees Knees. And his favourite radio personality over 90 years ago, Larry King.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *- For the younger crowd Linda Richmand is one of Mike Myers very successful characters he came up with during his time on Saturday Night Live.
By the way if you missed it Justin Timberlake hosted an excellent episode of SNL last night. He also officially joined SNL's “5 Timers Club” as host. My favourite part of last night's show “Donald Duck having a Vietnam Nightmare”-Gold!
P.S.S.-- **-Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard Stompin’ Tom Connors died this week. A true Canadian Icon, many excellent tributes have been passed along the past few days. A few highlights: Jian Ghomeshi had a heartfelt opening on his show “Q” Thursday, click HERE to listen. And, Hockey Night in Canada showed their respects with a fantastic opening montage, one of their best, see it HERE.
Authorities in England now claim horse meat has been discovered in Taco Bell food. I’m calling absolute BS on this story. Come on, horse meat at Taco Bell?, you know as well as I do there’s no real meat in Taco Bell food.
Continuing in England, The Queen was hospitalized this week with a stomach bug. I hear she’s been spending even more time on the throne then usual.
Absolutely amazing news, doctors have completely cured a baby born with HIV. You can’t help but feel excited to live in a time like this. And a little sad too; my biggest accomplishment this week was eating lunch without spilling anything on my shirt…Hats off to those doctors & researchers, and all, who are working to truly making the world a better place!
Playboy magazine is launching a Hebrew-language edition. Somewhere out there Linda Richmand* is feeling a little verklempt after hearing the news.
A woman in Nigeria claims she was pregnant for 25 months before recently giving birth. Ladies, could you even imagine being pregnant that long?, Eeek! At first doctors didn’t believe her, but changed their minds after she gave birth to an Elephant…A little gestation joke for the Zoologists ;-)
Jeff Foxworthy is going to host a TV reality series this summer. Called The American Baking Competition, I’ve already got the network's tagline for the show: “If you’re an Amateur Chef competing in cooking challenges this July, then you just might be on CBS”…Copyright Gilmore!
The Conclave to select a new Pope begins Tuesday. Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Quebec is one of the frontrunners. If chosen, I hope he remembers his Canadian roots when picking his Pope name. My suggestions: Pope Poutine, Pope Back Bacon, or go with one of Canada’s iconic inspiring figures. Pope St. Bob & Doug sounds nice. Or, better yet Pope St. Connors!**
A Lego spill recently shut down a highway in West Virginia. A scary situation, however I hear quick thinking kids built a bridge with it so cars could get through.
A new study says Walmart is the most popular place for people to find love at first sight. Cheap, throwaway, low quality love perhaps. Hey, each to their own, but I’ll find my love at first sight at a locally owned and operated store, thank you very much!…And really, love at first sight at a Walmart, did they do this study with Whales?
And a happy story to wrap up. Having to drop out at age at 13, a 106 year old man recently received his high school diploma. Very cool. I heard he was also valedictorian, but kind of lost the crowd giving his speech; all his talk about the roaring 20s, Flapper girls being the Bees Knees. And his favourite radio personality over 90 years ago, Larry King.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *- For the younger crowd Linda Richmand is one of Mike Myers very successful characters he came up with during his time on Saturday Night Live.
By the way if you missed it Justin Timberlake hosted an excellent episode of SNL last night. He also officially joined SNL's “5 Timers Club” as host. My favourite part of last night's show “Donald Duck having a Vietnam Nightmare”-Gold!
P.S.S.-- **-Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard Stompin’ Tom Connors died this week. A true Canadian Icon, many excellent tributes have been passed along the past few days. A few highlights: Jian Ghomeshi had a heartfelt opening on his show “Q” Thursday, click HERE to listen. And, Hockey Night in Canada showed their respects with a fantastic opening montage, one of their best, see it HERE.
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