Let’s kick off in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan started her new trial Monday. Huh, a redhead with a court date the day after St. Patrick’s Day, who'da thunk it.
Late Night TV wars are firing up again. Just a few years after royally screwing over Conan O’Brien, NBC is again focusing on The Tonight Show. As of writing this it's still unconfirmed; but word is Jay Leno is once more out as host. Rumour adds Jimmy Fallon will take over, and, The Tonight Show will move to New York City. This, by the way, is exactly what I've always felt should've happened with Conan. Give him the show, keep him in New York, keep his desk on the proper side of the studio (one of my personal theories, way too long to share today) and leave him alone to do his thing!...Congratulations NBC, further proving your failure as a network, you just spent Years & Millions on something I could have told you in 2004, idiots.
Some unsettling news this week, Elmo’s former puppeteer could be in trouble again. More underage sex with boys, smoking Meth, and pressuring kids to use the drug, are among the latest allegations. Shocking claims, and really sad too; you know its bad when your love for going to work and stuffing a hand up someone's ass everyday is the least of your compulsions.
In music news, The Who are coming out with a line of T-shirts & Hoodies. Kinda cool, however the cost is not. 48-98 dollars for a T-shirt. What are they high?! If I’m coughin’ up 98 bucks for a Who T-shirt it better be signed, worn on a bender, and vomited on, by Keith Moon himself. Just sayin’
Look out ‘Merica, you have just been outfatted! McDonald’s China laid a trump card with their latest fast food heart attack: Sausage Double Beef Burgers. I say their sell line should be ‘Do you want a defibrillator with that?’…As with all Chinese, I hear, still, you find yourself hungry 2 hours later.
Finally, a new survey claims babies are 8 times more distracting to drivers than adults. Really?!, obviously this survey looked at drivers dealing with sober adults --ever dealt with drunk people in your car. Yeah, exactly!-- Either that, or those survey babies were really hammered.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Just a little public service announcement. DO NOT go see The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. To clarify further, don’t go see it, don’t ever rent it, years from now when you stumble upon it at 2 a.m. on TV and the only other option is a National Film Board documentary about paint drying, watch the documentary. Seriously, I am a huge fan of stuff "so bad it's good", but this movie is so beyond bad it's downright terrible. Alan Arkin was the only highlight.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar11th-17th
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Are you wear something green?, have you peed green today?, is there green puke on your shoes? Oh such a magical time isn’t it!
Turns out a city in Alabama was to hold the world’s smallest St. Pats parade this year. I hear the sole marcher was the man in town with the smallest Shillelagh, Peter O'Shorty* ;-P …Hey, it’s not the size of the Shillelagh, but how well it stirs the Pot o’ Gold right?!, I’m sure that’s an Irish saying somewhere...
Jennifer Love Hewitt has just been named Maxim Magazine’s hottest cover girl ever. This less then a week after stating she wanted to insure her breasts for 5 million dollars. In related news, I joined the Breast Insurance business this week. Jennifer if you're reading, I offer a personal, hands on, approach to breast coverage. My slogan: “Put your Boobs in my Hands”. I’m licenced to cover all cup sizes too!, call for details ladies!
The big buzz around the world, Catholics got a new Pope this week. Pope Francis. At first, there was some confusion about the smoke colour from the Sistine Chapel signifying the event. Was it black smoke? Was it white smoke? Was a decision on Pope even made or were Cardinals just smoking nasty cigars in there? Did they burn a pizza?
It was an historic week for Canada too. On Wednesday, Astronaut Chris Hadfield, officially took over as commander of the International Space Station; the first time for a Canadian. There is no doubt Chris is 100% Canadian through & through, infact I hear his first act at the controls was taking the space station on a beer run.
Wanting to re-revaluate their products, Johnson & Johnson has voluntarily removed 3 types of KY Jelly Lubricant from store shelves…"Oh my god what am I going to do now?!", screams teenage boys everywhere.
Finally, I offer some food for thought: If the Dr. Seuss series ever comes out with a rock album they should call it “Horton hears a Who made Who” ;-)
--I think Dr. Seuss characters would definitely be AC/DC fans…Would you crank the volume in the house, would rock to Angus with a mouse!--
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Yeah that was my good St. Patrick’s Day joke. Here’s a few others from my 'so bad they're good file', my favourite file by the way, ha!:
How do you know the Irish drink too much? Shillelagh, Leprechaun, and Siob(h)an are all correct spellings.
Happy 'Scottish St. Patrick’s Day' tomorrow!…Green beer doesn’t get any cheaper then on March 18th.
Turns out a city in Alabama was to hold the world’s smallest St. Pats parade this year. I hear the sole marcher was the man in town with the smallest Shillelagh, Peter O'Shorty* ;-P …Hey, it’s not the size of the Shillelagh, but how well it stirs the Pot o’ Gold right?!, I’m sure that’s an Irish saying somewhere...
Jennifer Love Hewitt has just been named Maxim Magazine’s hottest cover girl ever. This less then a week after stating she wanted to insure her breasts for 5 million dollars. In related news, I joined the Breast Insurance business this week. Jennifer if you're reading, I offer a personal, hands on, approach to breast coverage. My slogan: “Put your Boobs in my Hands”. I’m licenced to cover all cup sizes too!, call for details ladies!
The big buzz around the world, Catholics got a new Pope this week. Pope Francis. At first, there was some confusion about the smoke colour from the Sistine Chapel signifying the event. Was it black smoke? Was it white smoke? Was a decision on Pope even made or were Cardinals just smoking nasty cigars in there? Did they burn a pizza?
It was an historic week for Canada too. On Wednesday, Astronaut Chris Hadfield, officially took over as commander of the International Space Station; the first time for a Canadian. There is no doubt Chris is 100% Canadian through & through, infact I hear his first act at the controls was taking the space station on a beer run.
Wanting to re-revaluate their products, Johnson & Johnson has voluntarily removed 3 types of KY Jelly Lubricant from store shelves…"Oh my god what am I going to do now?!", screams teenage boys everywhere.
Finally, I offer some food for thought: If the Dr. Seuss series ever comes out with a rock album they should call it “Horton hears a Who made Who” ;-)
--I think Dr. Seuss characters would definitely be AC/DC fans…Would you crank the volume in the house, would rock to Angus with a mouse!--
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Yeah that was my good St. Patrick’s Day joke. Here’s a few others from my 'so bad they're good file', my favourite file by the way, ha!:
How do you know the Irish drink too much? Shillelagh, Leprechaun, and Siob(h)an are all correct spellings.
Happy 'Scottish St. Patrick’s Day' tomorrow!…Green beer doesn’t get any cheaper then on March 18th.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar5th-10th
Happy Mario Day! This, to do with the date March 10th, or Mar10…Kinda looks like Mario right? Yep, this is a recognized day, and a very useless fact indeed.
Authorities in England now claim horse meat has been discovered in Taco Bell food. I’m calling absolute BS on this story. Come on, horse meat at Taco Bell?, you know as well as I do there’s no real meat in Taco Bell food.
Continuing in England, The Queen was hospitalized this week with a stomach bug. I hear she’s been spending even more time on the throne then usual.
Absolutely amazing news, doctors have completely cured a baby born with HIV. You can’t help but feel excited to live in a time like this. And a little sad too; my biggest accomplishment this week was eating lunch without spilling anything on my shirt…Hats off to those doctors & researchers, and all, who are working to truly making the world a better place!
Playboy magazine is launching a Hebrew-language edition. Somewhere out there Linda Richmand* is feeling a little verklempt after hearing the news.
A woman in Nigeria claims she was pregnant for 25 months before recently giving birth. Ladies, could you even imagine being pregnant that long?, Eeek! At first doctors didn’t believe her, but changed their minds after she gave birth to an Elephant…A little gestation joke for the Zoologists ;-)
Jeff Foxworthy is going to host a TV reality series this summer. Called The American Baking Competition, I’ve already got the network's tagline for the show: “If you’re an Amateur Chef competing in cooking challenges this July, then you just might be on CBS”…Copyright Gilmore!
The Conclave to select a new Pope begins Tuesday. Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Quebec is one of the frontrunners. If chosen, I hope he remembers his Canadian roots when picking his Pope name. My suggestions: Pope Poutine, Pope Back Bacon, or go with one of Canada’s iconic inspiring figures. Pope St. Bob & Doug sounds nice. Or, better yet Pope St. Connors!**
A Lego spill recently shut down a highway in West Virginia. A scary situation, however I hear quick thinking kids built a bridge with it so cars could get through.
A new study says Walmart is the most popular place for people to find love at first sight. Cheap, throwaway, low quality love perhaps. Hey, each to their own, but I’ll find my love at first sight at a locally owned and operated store, thank you very much!…And really, love at first sight at a Walmart, did they do this study with Whales?
And a happy story to wrap up. Having to drop out at age at 13, a 106 year old man recently received his high school diploma. Very cool. I heard he was also valedictorian, but kind of lost the crowd giving his speech; all his talk about the roaring 20s, Flapper girls being the Bees Knees. And his favourite radio personality over 90 years ago, Larry King.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *- For the younger crowd Linda Richmand is one of Mike Myers very successful characters he came up with during his time on Saturday Night Live.
By the way if you missed it Justin Timberlake hosted an excellent episode of SNL last night. He also officially joined SNL's “5 Timers Club” as host. My favourite part of last night's show “Donald Duck having a Vietnam Nightmare”-Gold!
P.S.S.-- **-Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard Stompin’ Tom Connors died this week. A true Canadian Icon, many excellent tributes have been passed along the past few days. A few highlights: Jian Ghomeshi had a heartfelt opening on his show “Q” Thursday, click HERE to listen. And, Hockey Night in Canada showed their respects with a fantastic opening montage, one of their best, see it HERE.
Authorities in England now claim horse meat has been discovered in Taco Bell food. I’m calling absolute BS on this story. Come on, horse meat at Taco Bell?, you know as well as I do there’s no real meat in Taco Bell food.
Continuing in England, The Queen was hospitalized this week with a stomach bug. I hear she’s been spending even more time on the throne then usual.
Absolutely amazing news, doctors have completely cured a baby born with HIV. You can’t help but feel excited to live in a time like this. And a little sad too; my biggest accomplishment this week was eating lunch without spilling anything on my shirt…Hats off to those doctors & researchers, and all, who are working to truly making the world a better place!
Playboy magazine is launching a Hebrew-language edition. Somewhere out there Linda Richmand* is feeling a little verklempt after hearing the news.
A woman in Nigeria claims she was pregnant for 25 months before recently giving birth. Ladies, could you even imagine being pregnant that long?, Eeek! At first doctors didn’t believe her, but changed their minds after she gave birth to an Elephant…A little gestation joke for the Zoologists ;-)
Jeff Foxworthy is going to host a TV reality series this summer. Called The American Baking Competition, I’ve already got the network's tagline for the show: “If you’re an Amateur Chef competing in cooking challenges this July, then you just might be on CBS”…Copyright Gilmore!
The Conclave to select a new Pope begins Tuesday. Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Quebec is one of the frontrunners. If chosen, I hope he remembers his Canadian roots when picking his Pope name. My suggestions: Pope Poutine, Pope Back Bacon, or go with one of Canada’s iconic inspiring figures. Pope St. Bob & Doug sounds nice. Or, better yet Pope St. Connors!**
A Lego spill recently shut down a highway in West Virginia. A scary situation, however I hear quick thinking kids built a bridge with it so cars could get through.
A new study says Walmart is the most popular place for people to find love at first sight. Cheap, throwaway, low quality love perhaps. Hey, each to their own, but I’ll find my love at first sight at a locally owned and operated store, thank you very much!…And really, love at first sight at a Walmart, did they do this study with Whales?
And a happy story to wrap up. Having to drop out at age at 13, a 106 year old man recently received his high school diploma. Very cool. I heard he was also valedictorian, but kind of lost the crowd giving his speech; all his talk about the roaring 20s, Flapper girls being the Bees Knees. And his favourite radio personality over 90 years ago, Larry King.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *- For the younger crowd Linda Richmand is one of Mike Myers very successful characters he came up with during his time on Saturday Night Live.
By the way if you missed it Justin Timberlake hosted an excellent episode of SNL last night. He also officially joined SNL's “5 Timers Club” as host. My favourite part of last night's show “Donald Duck having a Vietnam Nightmare”-Gold!
P.S.S.-- **-Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard Stompin’ Tom Connors died this week. A true Canadian Icon, many excellent tributes have been passed along the past few days. A few highlights: Jian Ghomeshi had a heartfelt opening on his show “Q” Thursday, click HERE to listen. And, Hockey Night in Canada showed their respects with a fantastic opening montage, one of their best, see it HERE.
Monday, March 4, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Feb 25th-Mar4th
Gaaa!, running a day late on the Blog post*. Better late then never though, right? Here’s a look at the week that was the last, ummm, 8 days.
Oscars went last Sunday. If you hadn’t heard this year’s Best Picture was Argo…I admit I don’t follow the movies closely, but I think it’s pretty darn cool a documentary about Toronto’s CFL team could win an Academy Award ;-P
Also last Sunday, Jimmy Johnson won the Daytona 500. There was a bit of controversy at Daytona this year too. The day before the race, fans were injured following a crash. The scene in the crowd was pretty intense. Missing teeth, torn clothes, blood & vomit stained shirts everywhere, and then the crash happened.
Black Bear Casino in Minnesota has created a new world record Cheeseburger. It’s huge!, 10ft in diameter, weighing more then 2 thousand pounds...Side order of heart attack? ‘Oh, You Betcha!’ --Said best outloud in your finest Minnesota accent of course!--
Barbara Walters returned to The View today. This following a long hospital stay including a nasty bout with Chickenpox of all diseases. Really, Chicken Pox…Just to be safe, I hope she remembered to get a Polio shot before she checked out.
Donald Trump is being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Weird, but, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Wrestling is known for it’s loud mouths, ridiculous personalities, and being fake. Yep, that’s pretty much Donald Trump.
Finally, it seems IKEA is now part of the European horse meat scandal. They say US & Canadian stores haven’t been affected. However, I argue no; I think this is the real story behind the IKEA monkey. He was undercover investigating!…This does explain his snazzy coat, he was just trying to blend in with the Yuppie Toronto crowd ..Yep, these are the things I think about!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-The reason I’m running a day behind is I was away with people from work. My station & staff won a Rogers CEO Team Award, the first ever for a radio station, and we were flown to Toronto for a big celebration. Honoured for our broadcast coverage of the 2012 ‘Timmins 9’ Forest Fire, here is the excellent video the company showed during the awards ceremony:
Oscars went last Sunday. If you hadn’t heard this year’s Best Picture was Argo…I admit I don’t follow the movies closely, but I think it’s pretty darn cool a documentary about Toronto’s CFL team could win an Academy Award ;-P
Also last Sunday, Jimmy Johnson won the Daytona 500. There was a bit of controversy at Daytona this year too. The day before the race, fans were injured following a crash. The scene in the crowd was pretty intense. Missing teeth, torn clothes, blood & vomit stained shirts everywhere, and then the crash happened.
Black Bear Casino in Minnesota has created a new world record Cheeseburger. It’s huge!, 10ft in diameter, weighing more then 2 thousand pounds...Side order of heart attack? ‘Oh, You Betcha!’ --Said best outloud in your finest Minnesota accent of course!--
Barbara Walters returned to The View today. This following a long hospital stay including a nasty bout with Chickenpox of all diseases. Really, Chicken Pox…Just to be safe, I hope she remembered to get a Polio shot before she checked out.
Donald Trump is being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Weird, but, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Wrestling is known for it’s loud mouths, ridiculous personalities, and being fake. Yep, that’s pretty much Donald Trump.
Finally, it seems IKEA is now part of the European horse meat scandal. They say US & Canadian stores haven’t been affected. However, I argue no; I think this is the real story behind the IKEA monkey. He was undercover investigating!…This does explain his snazzy coat, he was just trying to blend in with the Yuppie Toronto crowd ..Yep, these are the things I think about!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-The reason I’m running a day behind is I was away with people from work. My station & staff won a Rogers CEO Team Award, the first ever for a radio station, and we were flown to Toronto for a big celebration. Honoured for our broadcast coverage of the 2012 ‘Timmins 9’ Forest Fire, here is the excellent video the company showed during the awards ceremony:
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