These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar11th-17th

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Are you wear something green?, have you peed green today?, is there green puke on your shoes? Oh such a magical time isn’t it! 

Turns out a city in Alabama was to hold the world’s smallest St. Pats parade this year. I hear the sole marcher was the man in town with the smallest Shillelagh, Peter O'Shorty* ;-P   …Hey, it’s not the size of the Shillelagh, but how well it stirs the Pot o’ Gold right?!, I’m sure that’s an Irish saying somewhere...

Jennifer Love Hewitt has just been named Maxim Magazine’s hottest cover girl ever. This less then a week after stating she wanted to insure her breasts for 5 million dollars. In related news, I joined the Breast Insurance business this week. Jennifer if you're reading, I offer a personal, hands on, approach to breast coverage. My slogan: “Put your Boobs in my Hands”. I’m licenced to cover all cup sizes too!, call for details ladies!

The big buzz around the world, Catholics got a new Pope this week. Pope Francis. At first, there was some confusion about the smoke colour from the Sistine Chapel signifying the event. Was it black smoke? Was it white smoke? Was a decision on Pope even made or were Cardinals just smoking nasty cigars in there? Did they burn a pizza? 

It was an historic week for Canada too. On Wednesday, Astronaut Chris Hadfield, officially took over as commander of the International Space Station; the first time for a Canadian. There is no doubt Chris is 100% Canadian through & through, infact I hear his first act at the controls was taking the space station on a beer run.

Wanting to re-revaluate their products, Johnson & Johnson has voluntarily removed 3 types of KY Jelly Lubricant from store shelves…"Oh my god what am I going to do now?!", screams teenage boys everywhere. 

Finally, I offer some food for thought: If the Dr. Seuss series ever comes out with a rock album they should call it “Horton hears a Who made Who”  ;-) 
--I think Dr. Seuss characters would definitely be AC/DC fans…Would you crank the volume in the house, would rock to Angus with a mouse!--

-Gilmore 


--Oh P.S. *-Yeah that was my good St. Patrick’s Day joke. Here’s a few others from my 'so bad they're good file', my favourite file by the way, ha!: 

How do you know the Irish drink too much? Shillelagh, Leprechaun, and Siob(h)an are all correct spellings. 

Happy 'Scottish St. Patrick’s Day' tomorrow!…Green beer doesn’t get any cheaper then on March 18th.