Holy Shit!, Spring seems on the way, finally! And, great research to pass along as the weather starts turning nice. Gardeners, here’s a tip, play heavy metal music to your plants. Specifically Black Sabbath. I’m not making this up, research show Black Sabbath albums helps plants grow nicer flowers over other music. My theory, Ozzy Osbourne’s been speaking plant all this time, that’s why we can’t understand him!
Time Magazines 100 most influential people in the world issue is coming out. Jay-Z will be on one of 7 special edition covers. I wonder, will he be called Jay-Zed on Canadian edition covers?
Police in Brantford are looking for a thief who stole $5,000 worth of bubble gum. Cops describe the case as a real sticky situation.
…Even better, Bob from work gave me this one: He wonders if they have a Gumshoe on the case. Brilliant!...For more Bob brilliance check him out HERE, give him a listen on the weekends!
Following her tantrum with Police, Reese Witherspoon cancelled her appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Tuesday. To fill time for the segment Jimmy, a pro, drew on his Saturday Night Live experience….Oh, no improv, or special sketches. He just spent 10 minutes giggling at things that weren’t funny, and looking at the camera when he shouldn’t.
Wrestler, The Rock, had stomach surgery this week. Good news is he’s OK. But I wonder did bad food cause it? Did he not take his own advice to ‘Smell what The Rock is Cooking’ before eating it.
Ben Affleck is planning to live on 1.50 a day, to raise awareness of the ‘Live Below the Line’ anti-poverty campaign. Living off a $1.50 a day huh?!…I’ve been doing that since I got into radio.
Futurama fans, sad news the show been axed. The current season will be it’s last. “Bad news everyone!” is how I hear the Professor announced the decision to the other characters.
And, a new study says Beer Pong Balls can have up to 3 million germs on them. 90% are harmless, however 10% are really dangerous. The lesson here, be careful were your balls go…And really, that is a good general Rule of Life isn’t it!
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. A few useless comedy facts for the P.S. this week. 20 years ago Friday Conan O’Brien was named successor to Late Night with David Letterman. A complete unknown to the audience at the time, Conan has gone on to become one of the true leaders of late night TV. By the way Conan also hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend. A huge annual event, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, and Norm MacDonald are among those who have hosted over the years.
These 2 videos are perfect examples of the epicness, and the balls, of Steven Colbert and Norm MacDonald. Nobody else could of pulled this off:
Norm:
Colbert:
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Apr15th-21st
Leafs, made, the, Playoffs!!!! Yeah!
Hey have you got a 3D TV?, great. Now throw it out! New in Japan 4D. Currently debuting in theatres, 4D entertainment could be in North America in a few years. You heard it here first kids.
Remember Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan; get this, he is missing $34 million. This from a secret bank account his tax advisor stole from…OK, A: how the hell did Paul Hogan amass 34 million dollars?!, oh, and B: I hear Switzerland called, yeah they said to Paul: “Hey you call that a secret bank account, ha, we’ve got secret bank accounts!”…The Swiss…anybody?...nobody?…alright, nevermind*
Faith Hill has announced she’ll no longer be singing the opening to NBC’s Sunday Night Football. You gotta wonder, whose next to come in and completely butcher a Joan Jett song before a football game.
4/20 was Saturday (April 20th, for you calendarly impaired --Yes, I just invented that word--), a big day for Pot smokers, in the US alone over 50,000 people were expected at celebrations in Denver & Seattle. And I’ll guess, at least as many bags of Doritos were sold.
A man in Delware has spent over 120 thousand dollars building a Batcave replica in his basement. Apparently his wife found out how much he’s spent and is not impressed. Wait a minute!, the guy who built his own Batcave has a wife?! I think this is the real story here...old chum. There's you Adam West reference for the day.
A beat-up green door with broken glass just sold for 76 hundred dollars at an auction. Why?, it was the front door to the house Paul McCartney grew up in. Someone bought and held on to this door all these years…doesn’t make your folks seem like such pack rats now does it.
And the Billboard Music Awards are coming up next month. Confirmed,Tracy Morgan will be the host. Oh, you know somebody’s gonna get pregnant...There's your Tracy Morgan reference, and mention, for the day.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Incase my terrible reference really did miss everyone:
..Funny now, right?!…No, still not…baa, forget it!
P.S.S.-- I'm not one for politics, but, these are the things I think about...
So Justin Trudeau is head of the Liberals now, he’s got his flowing locks of hair:
Thomas Mulcair, leader of the NDP, he’s got his bitching beard:
Perhaps it’s time for Steven Harper to actually get an adult hair cut:
...Steve, you look like a Neeerrrd!
I say he grows some wicked pork chop sideburns and our next election comes down to facial hair!… Still a better topic then most of the political finger pointing anyway right?! Besides who wouldn’t want a guy looking like this representing us on the world stage:
...Actual fact, that's a photo of Ambrose Burnside, the guy sideburns were named after. Serious, look it up...OK, we're starting to learn, this blog post is over!!
Hey have you got a 3D TV?, great. Now throw it out! New in Japan 4D. Currently debuting in theatres, 4D entertainment could be in North America in a few years. You heard it here first kids.
Remember Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan; get this, he is missing $34 million. This from a secret bank account his tax advisor stole from…OK, A: how the hell did Paul Hogan amass 34 million dollars?!, oh, and B: I hear Switzerland called, yeah they said to Paul: “Hey you call that a secret bank account, ha, we’ve got secret bank accounts!”…The Swiss…anybody?...nobody?…alright, nevermind*
Faith Hill has announced she’ll no longer be singing the opening to NBC’s Sunday Night Football. You gotta wonder, whose next to come in and completely butcher a Joan Jett song before a football game.
4/20 was Saturday (April 20th, for you calendarly impaired --Yes, I just invented that word--), a big day for Pot smokers, in the US alone over 50,000 people were expected at celebrations in Denver & Seattle. And I’ll guess, at least as many bags of Doritos were sold.
A man in Delware has spent over 120 thousand dollars building a Batcave replica in his basement. Apparently his wife found out how much he’s spent and is not impressed. Wait a minute!, the guy who built his own Batcave has a wife?! I think this is the real story here...old chum. There's you Adam West reference for the day.
A beat-up green door with broken glass just sold for 76 hundred dollars at an auction. Why?, it was the front door to the house Paul McCartney grew up in. Someone bought and held on to this door all these years…doesn’t make your folks seem like such pack rats now does it.
And the Billboard Music Awards are coming up next month. Confirmed,Tracy Morgan will be the host. Oh, you know somebody’s gonna get pregnant...There's your Tracy Morgan reference, and mention, for the day.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. *-Incase my terrible reference really did miss everyone:
..Funny now, right?!…No, still not…baa, forget it!
P.S.S.-- I'm not one for politics, but, these are the things I think about...
So Justin Trudeau is head of the Liberals now, he’s got his flowing locks of hair:
Thomas Mulcair, leader of the NDP, he’s got his bitching beard:
Perhaps it’s time for Steven Harper to actually get an adult hair cut:
...Steve, you look like a Neeerrrd!
I say he grows some wicked pork chop sideburns and our next election comes down to facial hair!… Still a better topic then most of the political finger pointing anyway right?! Besides who wouldn’t want a guy looking like this representing us on the world stage:
Sunday, April 14, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Apr7th-14th
The MTV Movie Awards go tonight. Confirmed Brad Pitt will present the award for Movie of the Year. Guess whose ratings just went sky high. That sound you hear now is women everywhere setting the channel, you know a little early, just to be ready.
Bill Clinton is now on Twitter. Steven Colbert signed him up when Bill was on "The Colbert Report" Monday. I hear his first follower was Monica Lewinski, and Hillary was not impressed…Ah, 15 years later, those jokes still work!
From my ‘Only in America’ file. A Denny's Wedding Chapel opened Wednesday in Las Vegas. The restaurant charges only $95 for a wedding; Service includes a bottle of Champagne and a pancake Wedding cake. Wedding parties receive 20% off their food bills too. Classy right?!...I’ll stick with my original Vegas drive-thru wedding plans when I get married, thank you very much.
Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” has been pulled from Chinese theatres. They say it was for technical reasons. Tarantino has already edited the movie, taking out some of the violence. So, my guess is, this technical reason is the name. In China wouldn’t it be called ‘DJango UnChang-ed’…
Finally, Olympia Beer is offering $1 million to anyone, who captures Bigfoot. The ironic, best, part of winning this million dollar contest, you’ll then be able to afford to drink something better then Olympia Beer.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Some birthday shout outs to 3 cool guys. All celebrating birthday’s this past Friday.
The King of Late Night, yeah, Dave Letterman is 66. Seems like just yesterday Drew Barrymore was flashing him for his 48th, doesn’t it?!
Ed O’Neill, Jay on Modern Family, yet I’ll argue, still best known as Al Bundy, he is 67.
And hands down one of the finest sports broadcasters anywhere, Ron Maclean is 53. Don Cherry gets all the buzz, but you know Coaches Corner would suck without Ron. So much CBC programming would suck without Ron.
Bill Clinton is now on Twitter. Steven Colbert signed him up when Bill was on "The Colbert Report" Monday. I hear his first follower was Monica Lewinski, and Hillary was not impressed…Ah, 15 years later, those jokes still work!
From my ‘Only in America’ file. A Denny's Wedding Chapel opened Wednesday in Las Vegas. The restaurant charges only $95 for a wedding; Service includes a bottle of Champagne and a pancake Wedding cake. Wedding parties receive 20% off their food bills too. Classy right?!...I’ll stick with my original Vegas drive-thru wedding plans when I get married, thank you very much.
Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” has been pulled from Chinese theatres. They say it was for technical reasons. Tarantino has already edited the movie, taking out some of the violence. So, my guess is, this technical reason is the name. In China wouldn’t it be called ‘DJango UnChang-ed’…
Finally, Olympia Beer is offering $1 million to anyone, who captures Bigfoot. The ironic, best, part of winning this million dollar contest, you’ll then be able to afford to drink something better then Olympia Beer.
-Gilmore
--Oh P.S. Some birthday shout outs to 3 cool guys. All celebrating birthday’s this past Friday.
The King of Late Night, yeah, Dave Letterman is 66. Seems like just yesterday Drew Barrymore was flashing him for his 48th, doesn’t it?!
Ed O’Neill, Jay on Modern Family, yet I’ll argue, still best known as Al Bundy, he is 67.
And hands down one of the finest sports broadcasters anywhere, Ron Maclean is 53. Don Cherry gets all the buzz, but you know Coaches Corner would suck without Ron. So much CBC programming would suck without Ron.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
These Are The Things I Think About -- Mar25th-Apr7th
I’ve been off on vacation. Let’s get back at it shall we!
The long wait is over 'Mad Men' fans, season 6 debuts tonight. It’s a 2 hour season opener, so, if you like to drink along with the characters, you might need to water down your whisky a little. Or perhaps risk passing out before making it through the whole episode.
McDonald's in the Boston area are now requiring a Bachelor’s Degree, this for all new cashier applicants. Seems a little much, however my guess is the fine print reads ‘Bachelors Degree from Hamburger University’…I hear Grimace is a professor there.
Wednesday was NHL trade deadline day. It was a turd this year. The biggest trade of the day came from TV. NBC finally confirmed rumours, Jay Leno is out as Tonight Show host, and Jimmy Fallon will take over in February.
Continuing with Late Night TV, Lindsay Lohan will be on the Letterman Tuesday. Expect her to be charged with doing something stupid in New York City by Wednesday morning at the latest.
The oldest person in America died earlier this week. The lady’s name was Elsie Thompson, she was 113. Larry King, once again, sending his condolences, but adding he’s excited to bump up another spot on the list!
Facebook revealed new cellphone software Thursday. Called ‘Home’, they say it’s designed for instant messaging & photo sharing…Ummm, Dear facebook, I think most people’s phones already do that. Just sayin’
Researchers in Tokyo are developing a television that releases smells. Great when you are watching the cooking channel. Really bad when you are watching a documentary on incontinence.
A new book claims, in the late 80s Freddy Mercury of Queen once snuck Princess Diana into a gay Bar. The Princess was disguised in an army jacket, hat and sunglasses. And, I hear, everyone in the bar thought..she..looked..super fabulous!!! (said in your best Big Gay Al voice of course!*)
And finally the latest sign the world is doomed. Honey Boo Boo is coming out with a book “The Complete Guide on How to Redneck-og-nize the Honey Boo Boo in You''. Good God.
--How did we ever get Honey Boo Boo by the way? I hear they made a mistake trying to make a second Honey Yogi-- :-P
-Gilmore
--Oh, P.S. *-If you are not familiar, this is South Park's Big Gay Al:
The long wait is over 'Mad Men' fans, season 6 debuts tonight. It’s a 2 hour season opener, so, if you like to drink along with the characters, you might need to water down your whisky a little. Or perhaps risk passing out before making it through the whole episode.
McDonald's in the Boston area are now requiring a Bachelor’s Degree, this for all new cashier applicants. Seems a little much, however my guess is the fine print reads ‘Bachelors Degree from Hamburger University’…I hear Grimace is a professor there.
Wednesday was NHL trade deadline day. It was a turd this year. The biggest trade of the day came from TV. NBC finally confirmed rumours, Jay Leno is out as Tonight Show host, and Jimmy Fallon will take over in February.
Continuing with Late Night TV, Lindsay Lohan will be on the Letterman Tuesday. Expect her to be charged with doing something stupid in New York City by Wednesday morning at the latest.
The oldest person in America died earlier this week. The lady’s name was Elsie Thompson, she was 113. Larry King, once again, sending his condolences, but adding he’s excited to bump up another spot on the list!
Facebook revealed new cellphone software Thursday. Called ‘Home’, they say it’s designed for instant messaging & photo sharing…Ummm, Dear facebook, I think most people’s phones already do that. Just sayin’
Researchers in Tokyo are developing a television that releases smells. Great when you are watching the cooking channel. Really bad when you are watching a documentary on incontinence.
A new book claims, in the late 80s Freddy Mercury of Queen once snuck Princess Diana into a gay Bar. The Princess was disguised in an army jacket, hat and sunglasses. And, I hear, everyone in the bar thought..she..looked..super fabulous!!! (said in your best Big Gay Al voice of course!*)
And finally the latest sign the world is doomed. Honey Boo Boo is coming out with a book “The Complete Guide on How to Redneck-og-nize the Honey Boo Boo in You''. Good God.
--How did we ever get Honey Boo Boo by the way? I hear they made a mistake trying to make a second Honey Yogi-- :-P
-Gilmore
--Oh, P.S. *-If you are not familiar, this is South Park's Big Gay Al:
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