Kraft Dinner Pro Tips for Back to School

I ate Kraft Dinner for the first time in years today. 

We all have that emergency box up in the cupboard right?! Well, for some reason, --maybe strangely inspired by Back to School-- today my emergency box was speaking to me. With that said, this blog is dedicated to the kids going back to school, please pass it along to them. 

Here's a few Pro Tips from someone, like many, who got through school with the help of KD. 

KRAFT DINNER 101:

OK, make sure you have the bare essentials. Box of KD, a pot, water, stove. Check! Now, get that water boiling, and toss those noodles in:

Pro Tip #1: KD is best prepared with a wooden spoon. This is fact, don't argue it. If you didn't know this, well, that's cause you are dumb kid, going to school. Don't believe me, on this wooden spoon business? Ask an elder (older sibling, cousin, your dad), beware, they may smack you with one though. Don't say I didn't warn you...And don't call them an elder. That's good for 2 smacks!

There's just something magical about neon orange cheese isn't there! Also, Pro Tip #2: once the noodles are cooked, water drained, you'll want to mix in about 1/2 the powdered cheese. Don't just mix it all in one shot dumb dumb.

--Here's where I was a dumb dumb. Not sure if this is sad, funny, or ironic. Like my time in School, seems all these year's later, I still don't have any butter to put in it.-- 

Pro Tip #3: good news, if you don' have butter, just skip and perhaps add a little more milk. If you don't have any milk (been there) water works in a pinch. Then mix in the rest of that powdery neon magic! 
If you think KD without milk or butter is disgusting, you are half right, though you've probably never been a piss poor student, so suck it. 
Fact 2, no milk/butter whiners are also deserving of a wooden spoon smack. That wooden spoon, so versatile!

OK, taste test! 
As mentioned, I haven't eaten KD in years. Still tastes the same as I remember. Good to know the 'Gluten Free' people haven't ruined it yet too. --If there is gluten free KD, please don't tell me, I don't wanna know--

Ta da!! You just made yourself a bowl of Kraft Dinner. 
Fact 3, as with the wooden spoon, KD tastes better eaten right out of the pot. However, not to be done if you have to share it. And…
Elder Pro Tip: not to be done if over the age of 30. It's all part of that growing up eventually stuff.

And remember kids, Ketchup is your friend. Don't be afraid of it! 
Pro Tip: Try your KD with mustard instead of ketchup. Sounds nasty right?!…Just try it!

Congratulations, you just survived KD 101. Now you just have actual classes and school work to worry about. As for other KD courses I offer: 

For rich kids --those who can afford milk & butter-- there is 'KD 201 (Mix ins)' 
Featuring suggetions like hot dogs, mushroom soup and hamburger among good KD mix-ins to try. 

For the adventurous 'KD 301 (Culinary)' 
Featuring different ways to cook your KD, like Re-fried KD. Nasty, yet tasty all at once. A treat for rare occasions! 

 ….Happy back to school kids 
-Gilmore

-- Oh P.S. - got a comment? A KD cooking tip of your own? Lemme know!